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Father of ASD son

Tango459

Greetings

I have 3 children,my oldest son was diagnosed with DCD, my youngest son has been diagnosed with ASD and my daughter is undergoing assesment for ASD.

Since being involved in the long process of obtaining a diagnosis of my children, and gaining a comprehensive understanding of the spectrum  I have come to the conclusion that it is firmly me that has passed the gene (for want of a different term) onto my children 

My childhood was extremely difficult and I seem to have developed coping mecahanisms over the years.  However as expected I have been unable to hide from my wife, who firmly beleives I am on the spectrum.

My quandry is that at aged 46 is there any benefit seeking a diagnosis.  I feel I would like some kind of diagnosis rather than the continuous feeling that I was always just weired and odd (and still am)

Ive never really spoke with anyone about it (other than with my one in a million wife)

Many thanks

 

Parents

  • Hi Tango459,

    I think you have answered your own question:  I feel I would like some kind of diagnosis rather than the continuous feeling that I was always just weired and odd (and still am)

    Having the certainty which would come with diagnosis would seem to be of benefit to you.

    When Asperger's was mentioned in connection to my daughter and I started researching it the thing which struck me was how much I was reading seemed far more relevant to myself than my daughter. Until I started to come across information on how it differs in girls/women.

    I had come to term with my differences many years ago, and like you developed coping mechanisms. Now in my 50's I see little point in going for formal diagnosis.

    One advantage I found once I accepted that I probably do have Aspergers was to realise how much I avoided things which make me uncomfortable or being in situations where I had little control. It encouraged me to step way outside of my comfort zone and push myself much more. 

    I am fortunate as I currnetly have a fantastic boss who I think recognised the truth very quickly and she has encouraged and pushed me in a supportive way. Last year was the first time I chose to go to a christmas social event with the team. While I found it difficult I also enjoyed it. 

    Knowing the truth can be liberating, I think diagnosis later in life, can be a good thing, hopefully you are comfortable with who you are and your capabilities, these will not change with diagnosis. Understanding and knowing why things are different can help put your past in context, understand where you are now and, if you want, show where you can concentrate your efforts in moving forward. If diagnosis will help you with this then yes it would be of benefit to you.

Reply

  • Hi Tango459,

    I think you have answered your own question:  I feel I would like some kind of diagnosis rather than the continuous feeling that I was always just weired and odd (and still am)

    Having the certainty which would come with diagnosis would seem to be of benefit to you.

    When Asperger's was mentioned in connection to my daughter and I started researching it the thing which struck me was how much I was reading seemed far more relevant to myself than my daughter. Until I started to come across information on how it differs in girls/women.

    I had come to term with my differences many years ago, and like you developed coping mechanisms. Now in my 50's I see little point in going for formal diagnosis.

    One advantage I found once I accepted that I probably do have Aspergers was to realise how much I avoided things which make me uncomfortable or being in situations where I had little control. It encouraged me to step way outside of my comfort zone and push myself much more. 

    I am fortunate as I currnetly have a fantastic boss who I think recognised the truth very quickly and she has encouraged and pushed me in a supportive way. Last year was the first time I chose to go to a christmas social event with the team. While I found it difficult I also enjoyed it. 

    Knowing the truth can be liberating, I think diagnosis later in life, can be a good thing, hopefully you are comfortable with who you are and your capabilities, these will not change with diagnosis. Understanding and knowing why things are different can help put your past in context, understand where you are now and, if you want, show where you can concentrate your efforts in moving forward. If diagnosis will help you with this then yes it would be of benefit to you.

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