Autism Advisory Service Hertfordshire

My son is 8. Between 2-5yrs he attended a pre school who noticed very small signs of autism which got him referred to the Paediatric team where after several appointments he was diagnosed with low spectrum autism. He thrived through pre school and I took time to consider his primary school options where I chose a small school hoping the less children the more input he would have with teachers there, huge mistake. Both my son and another child were both constantly punished for bad behaviour, excluded nearly every week and the other child’s parents removed their child to another school at which time I had hoped my son would get the support and attention he needed instead he was removed from the main class and placed in what they said was his own learning space a 6x8ft room on his own with a teaching assistant but supposed to still participate in PE, Swimming, trips etc but this to was eventually stopped as well as him eating lunches in the main hall with all the other children. I was then attending monthly meetings which always seemed to mostly consist of me and my son being criticised and blamed for all the problems which arose at school. At no point was I offered information of where I could find support, help or information and my emotional state was constantly being criticised and used for everything the school couldn’t manage including trying to get my son through the gates and into school which had become awful. My son running out of school, crying, trying to catch him etc. During the time this was all going on my brother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. My brother was 19 at the time and my sons favourite person at that time. Instead of supporting my son there tactics increased, the pressure and harassment were intense and they referred us to social services. This went on for 18 months and in December Ingot a call to exclude my son again and n collecting him he was distraught and in asking him what was wrong he told me it was the day of the Christmas party, they had excluded him to prevent problems at the party and I know this because they had done it previously during school plays, swimming days and inspection days and this was the final straw for me. I removed my son that day knowing it was going to bring more problems to deal with on top of dealing with my younger brothers cancer battle and the need to be there for him but it was a simple choice for me as I was not going to allow the school to treat my 6 year old like this. He at this point was withdrawn, constantly aggressive and lashing out  due to feelings he didn’t know how to deal with. For me this meant constant harassment and pressure from social work. Threats of criminal prosecution and fines but my son was my strength to stick up for him. In my case it paid of, he got into the special needs school I wanted him in and now he is thriving but I myself have struggled and continue to as I’m still the researcher and constantly looking for help myself in adjusting to autism as it changes with every year he gets older and I desperately need support and advice of which neither social work or the school has ever provided. My mental health has been effected, I’ve become down and my worst critic when I can’t manage him on his worst days and still 9 years on I still try to find information and help alone none of which has been helped by the professionals who promise to find it but to date never have but they still criticise me, my skills as a mother and the pressure on me is unbearable. Hertfordshire have let both my son and I down and I know are still putting families and our beautiful kids through hell because of there lack of knowledge themselves. Something needs to be done because families are being punished and treated disgustingly I never want others to go through this. Good luck with all you do and I wish your family well. 

My son is 8. Between 2-5yrs he attended a pre school who noticed very small signs of autism which got him referred to the Paediatric team where after several appointments he was diagnosed with low spectrum autism. He thrived through pre school and I took time to consider his primary school options where I chose a small school hoping the less children the more input he would have with teachers there, huge mistake. Both my son and another child were both constantly punished for bad behaviour, excluded nearly every week and the other child’s parents removed their child to another school at which time I had hoped my son would get the support and attention he needed instead he was removed from the main class and placed in what they said was his own learning space a 6x8ft room on his own with a teaching assistant but supposed to still participate in PE, Swimming, trips etc but this to was eventually stopped as well as him eating lunches in the main hall with all the other children. I was then attending monthly meetings which always seemed to mostly consist of me and my son being criticised and blamed for all the problems which arose at school. At no point was I offered information of where I could find support, help or information and my emotional state was constantly being criticised and used for everything the school couldn’t manage including trying to get my son through the gates and into school which had become awful. My son running out of school, crying, trying to catch him etc. During the time this was all going on my brother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. My brother was 19 at the time and my sons favourite person at that time. Instead of supporting my son there tactics increased, the pressure and harassment were intense and they referred us to social services. This went on for 18 months and in December Ingot a call to exclude my son again and n collecting him he was distraught and in asking him what was wrong he told me it was the day of the Christmas party, they had excluded him to prevent problems at the party and I know this because they had done it previously during school plays, swimming days and inspection days and this was the final straw for me. I removed my son that day knowing it was going to bring more problems to deal with on top of dealing with my younger brothers cancer battle and the need to be there for him but it was a simple choice for me as I was not going to allow the school to treat my 6 year old like this. He at this point was withdrawn, constantly aggressive and lashing out  due to feelings he didn’t know how to deal with. For me this meant constant harassment and pressure from social work. Threats of criminal prosecution and fines but my son was my strength to stick up for him. In my case it paid of, he got into the special needs school I wanted him in and now he is thriving but I myself have struggled and continue to as I’m still the researcher and constantly looking for help myself in adjusting to autism as it changes with every year he gets older and I desperately need support and advice of which neither social work or the school has ever provided. My mental health has been effected, I’ve become down and my worst critic when I can’t manage him on his worst days and still 9 years on I still try to find information and help alone none of which has been helped by the professionals who promise to find it but to date never have but they still criticise me, my skills as a mother and the pressure on me is unbearable. Hertfordshire have let both my son and I down and I know are still putting families and our beautiful kids through hell because of there lack of knowledge themselves. Something needs to be done because families are being punished and treated disgustingly I never want others to go through this. Good luck with all you do and I wish your family well.