Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I'am a 29 year old male, I think im on the AS somewere but undiagnossed. I got diagnossed with dyslexia at age 24. I feel down about it tbh, I just cant doo other humans or small talk or backstabbing in the workplace. I get incredibly frustrated at work and Im always fearfull I let what I think of people out as in the past I called someone a corrupt c**t and got sacked. I think Im really tolerant but when someone winds me up I just cant bite my tongue. I feel quite misanthropic in outlook basically.
In my opinion im of average intelligence. I've been completely addicted to listening to music since I was about 12. I literally own thousands of records and when I was younger I seriously couldnt concentrate on anything other than whatever song I was addicted too. At one point I was a apprentice engineer but just couldnt concentrate on anything other than music, I got through my apprenticeship but couldnt stand the working envirmonment. However I cant play an instrument as I cant really keep it co-ordinated.
I feel as though im always the last one to understand a joke. My repsonses to stimuli are really poor (slow). I feel that I cant express myself at all. I cant write emotion messages on cards, participate in drama. I cant have a phonecall in the respect that I cant gauge when to come in.
I have a 2.1 BSc (hons) degree in music tech (engineering side) which in my final year I drove 85miles each way everyday to attend. Which I think represents me, complete commitment if Im into something, but doing it alone. The 85 mile drive was ace as I didnt have to small talk. I can completly amuse myself and hate new social situations
The only person I can look in the eyes of is my partner of 12 years. I hate it when people at work try to get eyecontact.
So after that massively long blurb........................................Does any one behave similar? I feel embarressed about going to see the GP, I dont like the whole why do you want I diagnosis thing. It would make me feel like an attention seeker. Has anyone been through this kind of thing?
Doctors are only human and if one argues with a Doctor telling them that you have Autism they could be convinced in border line cases.
Sometimes people might sub consciously act Autistic at a diagnostic interview.
If I wanted to convince a Doctor I was Autistic I could not help behaving iin a certain way. If I wanted to convince a Doctor that I was not Autistic I would behave in a different way. At times in my life I was diagnosed I was not thinking about Autism.
Do not diagnostic interviews take into account impression on the day?
In my case if I tell them about my childhood that would help them decide I was Autistic.
When in 1990 my parents were told in family therapy that I have Asperger Syndrome my parents and I have not heard of it.
In 2009 I asked about my diagnoses.
My GP told me that the only thing on my medical records is one comment about mild Autism in 1976 from a consultant Psychiatrist and the recommendation when I was nine in 1966 for an Autistic School he does not have.
My GP explained although it is not much evedence on my medical records and nothing about Asperger Syndrome I have an Autistic manner.
More important I have been in recent E Mail contact with Professor Patricia Howlin an Autism expert who has met me on a one to one basis a long time ago
She E Mailed me telling me that I certainly have Asperger Syndrome regardless of what happened when I was younger. I expect if you met me you would not doubt that I have Asperger Syndrome. She should really have put on my medical records that Pat Howlin confirms and she does not mind me saying that she diagnosed it.
Who has to pay money when someone is diagnosed?
David