Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I'am a 29 year old male, I think im on the AS somewere but undiagnossed. I got diagnossed with dyslexia at age 24. I feel down about it tbh, I just cant doo other humans or small talk or backstabbing in the workplace. I get incredibly frustrated at work and Im always fearfull I let what I think of people out as in the past I called someone a corrupt c**t and got sacked. I think Im really tolerant but when someone winds me up I just cant bite my tongue. I feel quite misanthropic in outlook basically.
In my opinion im of average intelligence. I've been completely addicted to listening to music since I was about 12. I literally own thousands of records and when I was younger I seriously couldnt concentrate on anything other than whatever song I was addicted too. At one point I was a apprentice engineer but just couldnt concentrate on anything other than music, I got through my apprenticeship but couldnt stand the working envirmonment. However I cant play an instrument as I cant really keep it co-ordinated.
I feel as though im always the last one to understand a joke. My repsonses to stimuli are really poor (slow). I feel that I cant express myself at all. I cant write emotion messages on cards, participate in drama. I cant have a phonecall in the respect that I cant gauge when to come in.
I have a 2.1 BSc (hons) degree in music tech (engineering side) which in my final year I drove 85miles each way everyday to attend. Which I think represents me, complete commitment if Im into something, but doing it alone. The 85 mile drive was ace as I didnt have to small talk. I can completly amuse myself and hate new social situations
The only person I can look in the eyes of is my partner of 12 years. I hate it when people at work try to get eyecontact.
So after that massively long blurb........................................Does any one behave similar? I feel embarressed about going to see the GP, I dont like the whole why do you want I diagnosis thing. It would make me feel like an attention seeker. Has anyone been through this kind of thing?
We call people with ASC high-functioning if you have strong verbal abilities, can cope with mainstream academic tasks, can perform everyday basic living skills, and are more self-aware and have a higher degree of sociability than someone with 'low functioning' ASC. Obviously, the high-functioning scale encompasses a wide range of abilities, and Asperger's syndrome is right at the top of the scale. Even people with AS vary significantly as to how 'high functioning' they are. However, you can be 'high functioning' and still have disabilities which affect your everyday life, be it with employment, relationships, associated mental health problems etc. 'High-functioning' can be a deceptive label, and is more there to help clinicians than anyone else.
David, while I understand that labels should not define a person, and we are more than a label, having a diagnosis is vital for many people because of the everyday disabilities they face, which leads to low-self esteem and unhappiness.If I was not diagnosed when I was, I would not have received any support and would no doubt be in a very bad way, bearing in mind that I hardly left the house at all before diagnosis.