Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I'am a 29 year old male, I think im on the AS somewere but undiagnossed. I got diagnossed with dyslexia at age 24. I feel down about it tbh, I just cant doo other humans or small talk or backstabbing in the workplace. I get incredibly frustrated at work and Im always fearfull I let what I think of people out as in the past I called someone a corrupt c**t and got sacked. I think Im really tolerant but when someone winds me up I just cant bite my tongue. I feel quite misanthropic in outlook basically.
In my opinion im of average intelligence. I've been completely addicted to listening to music since I was about 12. I literally own thousands of records and when I was younger I seriously couldnt concentrate on anything other than whatever song I was addicted too. At one point I was a apprentice engineer but just couldnt concentrate on anything other than music, I got through my apprenticeship but couldnt stand the working envirmonment. However I cant play an instrument as I cant really keep it co-ordinated.
I feel as though im always the last one to understand a joke. My repsonses to stimuli are really poor (slow). I feel that I cant express myself at all. I cant write emotion messages on cards, participate in drama. I cant have a phonecall in the respect that I cant gauge when to come in.
I have a 2.1 BSc (hons) degree in music tech (engineering side) which in my final year I drove 85miles each way everyday to attend. Which I think represents me, complete commitment if Im into something, but doing it alone. The 85 mile drive was ace as I didnt have to small talk. I can completly amuse myself and hate new social situations
The only person I can look in the eyes of is my partner of 12 years. I hate it when people at work try to get eyecontact.
So after that massively long blurb........................................Does any one behave similar? I feel embarressed about going to see the GP, I dont like the whole why do you want I diagnosis thing. It would make me feel like an attention seeker. Has anyone been through this kind of thing?
What does this have to do with whether one should seek a diagnosis of Au ism or accept the diagnoses of Autism?
Firstly I did not seek a diagnoses of Autism.
I was given one in 1966 and 1976 probably good enough to be official but confirmed by Doctor Howlin. Those diagnoses were given to me without being asked for.
Has that happened to anyone else?
If it had been explained to my Mother why the Maudsley thought I was Autistic and we accepted it. It is true that I still need not have gone to the Autistic School.
The Local Primiary would have accepted me as they knew all about my contact with the Maudsley and I even went to an afternoon a week to a special needs school.
I went to the Special Needs School without any students to prevent fights with other children.
It is true the first Secondary School would not have accepted me.
1968 till 1970
It was a Private Grammar School.
That would have been a jolly good job as I was very unhappy there.
Who cares it has closed down.
The Second Private School.
There from 1970 till 1973
The Head Master at interview saw I had problems.
I did an Aspi thing by taking the Coffee which was meant for my Mother.
Had Coffee with the Head Master.
In other words that school might have had me if they had known I was Autistic.
That school has also closed down.
I could have gone to any State Secondary School but the classes were large and I would have got bullied.
David