Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I'am a 29 year old male, I think im on the AS somewere but undiagnossed. I got diagnossed with dyslexia at age 24. I feel down about it tbh, I just cant doo other humans or small talk or backstabbing in the workplace. I get incredibly frustrated at work and Im always fearfull I let what I think of people out as in the past I called someone a corrupt c**t and got sacked. I think Im really tolerant but when someone winds me up I just cant bite my tongue. I feel quite misanthropic in outlook basically.
In my opinion im of average intelligence. I've been completely addicted to listening to music since I was about 12. I literally own thousands of records and when I was younger I seriously couldnt concentrate on anything other than whatever song I was addicted too. At one point I was a apprentice engineer but just couldnt concentrate on anything other than music, I got through my apprenticeship but couldnt stand the working envirmonment. However I cant play an instrument as I cant really keep it co-ordinated.
I feel as though im always the last one to understand a joke. My repsonses to stimuli are really poor (slow). I feel that I cant express myself at all. I cant write emotion messages on cards, participate in drama. I cant have a phonecall in the respect that I cant gauge when to come in.
I have a 2.1 BSc (hons) degree in music tech (engineering side) which in my final year I drove 85miles each way everyday to attend. Which I think represents me, complete commitment if Im into something, but doing it alone. The 85 mile drive was ace as I didnt have to small talk. I can completly amuse myself and hate new social situations
The only person I can look in the eyes of is my partner of 12 years. I hate it when people at work try to get eyecontact.
So after that massively long blurb........................................Does any one behave similar? I feel embarressed about going to see the GP, I dont like the whole why do you want I diagnosis thing. It would make me feel like an attention seeker. Has anyone been through this kind of thing?
I exageratted it to make a point.
What I am saying is: Why is it so urgent to have a diagnoses?
If you have a severe illness than a diagnoses can save your life.
Whether you have Autism or not is never a matter of Life and Death.
As for the vallue of a diagnoses.
It might mean that you get more support and people understand you better.
As explained in my previous E Mail my Father really believed that I turned out so badly as my Mother was not strict enough with me.
My Father believed children should have love and affection but plenty of firm handling.
When it was explained to him that I have Asperger Syndrome a kind of high functioning Autistim he stopped blaming my Mother.
I was not even in the room when this discussion took place although I was aged thirty-three. What I do not like is that the Psychologist thought it should be a secret that I have Asperger Syndrome and my Parents should not really know.
Things have changed since 1990 as the law now says that we are entitled to know what the Doctors think of us.
In 2009 I asked my GP to look up where the idea of Asperger Syndrome comes from and he told me that it comes from a Psychiatrist who visited us briefly in my home in 1976 and he said that I had mild Autism.
I am not sure if it would count as a diagnoses on its own but as Professor Pat.Howlin has said that I certainly have Asperger Syndrme I think that should be good enough.
I did not see Dr.Howlin until after we were told that I had Asperger Syndrome so she was not the first person to diagnose me.
David
Do we all know who Professor Pat Howlin is?
She is certainly an Autism expert.