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Is this normal?

Jessicaaaaa

hey, im Jess,

Recently got a diagnosis of high funtioning autism, and been stuggling to cope. I havent had the easiest time at school. I have been through depression and eating disorders as I get very uptight about being perfect and I always feel so paranoid about if people hate me or not. Is it normal to be constantly worrying about people not liking you? I never really feel like I fit in anywhere, unless on my own in my room. Does anyone else just feel more rexlaxed and happy when on their own in a safe place?

I am really struggling to come to terms with having autism, as I go to a private school and all they really caree about are grades and achievemnts.  Boys tease anyone with any type of disability from autism to down sydrome which makes me really angry and worried. At lunch time I usually just sit and read in the library. Generally, school really freaks me out and it takes up so much energy pretending to fit in and smile and not have a meltdown. Is school meant to be this stressfull?

I hope everyone is having an ok day x

  • Hi Jessica, don't worry about being ill, or "mentally unwell", the truth is you may be different but that doesn't make you sick, psychiatry is a really crooked profession, convincing people that they're ill or need drugs just because they're different to the mainstream.

    I hated school and also feel a desire to be perfect, in fact this drive for perfection often causes depression for me, especially when I see the way other humans behave towards each other and the planet.

    The truth is we were both likely put here to fulfil some purpose, I certainly have always felt different, and as if I was put here for a reason. I've been told that many of the things I do are not "normal", and that my behaviours, and ways of thinking transcend that of a "normal" person. I find small talk stupid, and think ever so deeply. I also can't cope with human institutions such as school and see them as pointless wastes of time which are fulfilling no good purpose, because in my view people do best what they wish to do, and what they do with passion, instead of what they're forced to do by teachers, authority, and bosses.

    You're not alone in the way that you feel though, just don't think success is trying to be "normal" or fit in, remember that many great artists and musicians have risen to prominence by not fitting in, and standing out as unique beautiful individuals. Don't let society try and change you, it's really unfair that people are bullying at your school, but you don't have an illness and any boundaries you set yourself are only controlled by you, and you can do as you please.