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newly diagnosed son

hibbsy

Hello there, we are new to this forum and we are looking for help and support that anyone can give please.

Our 11 year old son has just been diagnosed with a-typical autism.He also has a speech and language problem, dyslexia (which we have known about for a couple of years) and a severe anxiety problem.

He has had a severe melt down at school as he is struggling with the pressures of the impending SATS tests this year and feels inadequate against his peers. He does have CAMHS involvement, SENCO support, and we are liasing with an educational psychologist, but we are stunned at this new autism diagnosis and struggling to come to terms with both that, and our sons low self esteem, awful anxiety issues and very low state of mind, it really is heartbreaking and we are struggling to know how to support him best. He has constant outbursts and meltdowns, can be rather aggressive at times, followed by tears upon tears and then becomes withdrawn and negative.

We are completely exhausted and concerned about the future and how we are going to get through this. Any help and advice would be so gratefully recieved!

Parents

  • A not so quick update!

    Well, we have had a meeting at our son's Junior school this week regarding the impending Sats and also the transfer over to the high school in September. They have decided that Our son will NOT be sitting the sats because he would struggle to reach a level two and therefore the results would come back as N - non graded!

    However, they have decided to let our son sit a made-up sats paper that is made to look like the national sats paper but will have questions at his level which would be easier to answer. He apparently wouldn't realise it was a made up paper, it would be marked at the school and they would ensure he recieved a level three that would at least look like a reasonable level for him. Although we do understand what the school are trying to do, both my husband and i really don't feel comfortable with lying to him, and feel despite his fragile mental state we should strive to be honest with him, he needs to trust us.

    We also spoke to the school about his recent Autism diagnosis about 5 weeks ago. CAHMS went in to discuss what should be put in place, and talk them through his needs. The staff including the Headteacher had no recollection of that talk, until we reminded them and then said "Oh yes, i remember a little chat now!" Our son is still being taught at yr6 level, struggling to prepare for the sats....which he won't be taking!

    We also spoke to the High school who feel our son should be statemented, and told us to discuss this with the Junior school....this was met with an emphatic no, and we were shot down in flames for discussing our son with the school when it is "their job to discuss the childrens needs....how dare you go in and talk to them!" They feel he copes well, does not need a statement and we shouldn't even be discussing it! We did point out that our son has made absolutely no progress at all in the four yrs he has been at that school, and the fact that he is recovering from breakdown is obviously showing that he is NOT coping well!

    We have managed to speak with CAHMS who feel like us, that we should not lie to our son about the SATS, absolutely not. They have said that although our son does need a statement we would have to fight tooth and nail to get one, and from their previous experience, they know it is unlikely to happen. Sadly, thats just the way it is. So, what do we do? Who knows?

    Anyone out there who could advise us?

    Thank you.

Reply

  • A not so quick update!

    Well, we have had a meeting at our son's Junior school this week regarding the impending Sats and also the transfer over to the high school in September. They have decided that Our son will NOT be sitting the sats because he would struggle to reach a level two and therefore the results would come back as N - non graded!

    However, they have decided to let our son sit a made-up sats paper that is made to look like the national sats paper but will have questions at his level which would be easier to answer. He apparently wouldn't realise it was a made up paper, it would be marked at the school and they would ensure he recieved a level three that would at least look like a reasonable level for him. Although we do understand what the school are trying to do, both my husband and i really don't feel comfortable with lying to him, and feel despite his fragile mental state we should strive to be honest with him, he needs to trust us.

    We also spoke to the school about his recent Autism diagnosis about 5 weeks ago. CAHMS went in to discuss what should be put in place, and talk them through his needs. The staff including the Headteacher had no recollection of that talk, until we reminded them and then said "Oh yes, i remember a little chat now!" Our son is still being taught at yr6 level, struggling to prepare for the sats....which he won't be taking!

    We also spoke to the High school who feel our son should be statemented, and told us to discuss this with the Junior school....this was met with an emphatic no, and we were shot down in flames for discussing our son with the school when it is "their job to discuss the childrens needs....how dare you go in and talk to them!" They feel he copes well, does not need a statement and we shouldn't even be discussing it! We did point out that our son has made absolutely no progress at all in the four yrs he has been at that school, and the fact that he is recovering from breakdown is obviously showing that he is NOT coping well!

    We have managed to speak with CAHMS who feel like us, that we should not lie to our son about the SATS, absolutely not. They have said that although our son does need a statement we would have to fight tooth and nail to get one, and from their previous experience, they know it is unlikely to happen. Sadly, thats just the way it is. So, what do we do? Who knows?

    Anyone out there who could advise us?

    Thank you.

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