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newly diagnosed son

hibbsy

Hello there, we are new to this forum and we are looking for help and support that anyone can give please.

Our 11 year old son has just been diagnosed with a-typical autism.He also has a speech and language problem, dyslexia (which we have known about for a couple of years) and a severe anxiety problem.

He has had a severe melt down at school as he is struggling with the pressures of the impending SATS tests this year and feels inadequate against his peers. He does have CAMHS involvement, SENCO support, and we are liasing with an educational psychologist, but we are stunned at this new autism diagnosis and struggling to come to terms with both that, and our sons low self esteem, awful anxiety issues and very low state of mind, it really is heartbreaking and we are struggling to know how to support him best. He has constant outbursts and meltdowns, can be rather aggressive at times, followed by tears upon tears and then becomes withdrawn and negative.

We are completely exhausted and concerned about the future and how we are going to get through this. Any help and advice would be so gratefully recieved!

Parents

  • Thank you once again

    We are lucky enough to live in a beautiful part of the countryside in Derbyshire, and we do make the most of it with regular walks etc. The school our son goes to is in a  beautiful setting and split across two sites...infants and juniors. We have had our struggles to get him assessed and get him the help and support he needs, and have come up on so many barriers and shocking negativity, (boy have we had to toughen up!) but i think we might finally be getting there with the school side of things now.

    Now for the even trickier bit.....the constant meltdowns. How on earth do we cope with the aggressive outbursts and total meltdowns? Life is a constant stuggle where we feel as though we are walking on egg shells trying to keep things calm and have as stress free a day as we can for everyone, especially our little girl who as we speak, is nursing the most awful bruise on her leg from where my son kicked her....not for any reason, just because she happened to be in the way! She is so forgiving, but the bad behaviour has to be dealt with, and we just dont know how to do it! We do constantly praise the good behaviour and work on his self esteem, but how do we discipline the bad behaviour. i have sent him to sit on his bed and think through what he has done and we will talk about it....but he then goes into total meltdown and can't cope with life and doesnt want to go on.

    Sorry for going on, but we really are at our wits end, not knowing how to move on from this diagnosis and seeing a way forward. we really feel we are losing the plot here and i don't want to lose sight of the gorgeous boy my son is as it's being overshadowed by all this.

Reply

  • Thank you once again

    We are lucky enough to live in a beautiful part of the countryside in Derbyshire, and we do make the most of it with regular walks etc. The school our son goes to is in a  beautiful setting and split across two sites...infants and juniors. We have had our struggles to get him assessed and get him the help and support he needs, and have come up on so many barriers and shocking negativity, (boy have we had to toughen up!) but i think we might finally be getting there with the school side of things now.

    Now for the even trickier bit.....the constant meltdowns. How on earth do we cope with the aggressive outbursts and total meltdowns? Life is a constant stuggle where we feel as though we are walking on egg shells trying to keep things calm and have as stress free a day as we can for everyone, especially our little girl who as we speak, is nursing the most awful bruise on her leg from where my son kicked her....not for any reason, just because she happened to be in the way! She is so forgiving, but the bad behaviour has to be dealt with, and we just dont know how to do it! We do constantly praise the good behaviour and work on his self esteem, but how do we discipline the bad behaviour. i have sent him to sit on his bed and think through what he has done and we will talk about it....but he then goes into total meltdown and can't cope with life and doesnt want to go on.

    Sorry for going on, but we really are at our wits end, not knowing how to move on from this diagnosis and seeing a way forward. we really feel we are losing the plot here and i don't want to lose sight of the gorgeous boy my son is as it's being overshadowed by all this.

Children
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