Autism developed into narcissism?

Hi Hidden spark,  just wanted to say that I know what you mean  about the  narcissistic behaviour and the sociopathic traits and why this is a worry given what you have described. Narcissism and sociopathy is also in my family and I also have a son aged 21 with Aspergers and ADD. The fact your son shows concern for others is encouraging.

What are your feelings about bi polar disorder? because it also reminded me of this too.  The risk taking behaviour with regards to hacking. gambling and partying etc, inflated self confidence ,  sudden extreme dieting and  lack of regard for money sounds like how someone reacts when they are having a manic episode.Might be worth having a read about it to see if it fits the pattern, especially as this is out of character compared to how your son used to be. Anyway just a thought!  

 I wish you both well xx

Perhaps he was bullied at school and this made him put on weight through comfort eating, respond to people in a rude seeming way and then withdraw from social situations for a while. (Being bullied is very common for people on the autistic spectrum - it happened to me and my parents and teachers were totally unaware of it.)

Becoming good at IT probably boosted his confidence, and attending a course enabled him to mix with other people who shared his interest. It sounds like his mind was stimulated by learning about IT systems, and perhaps this enabled him to learn more about human systems and how to deal with people without feeling like he was the "underdog".

What you interpret as narcissm could be a security thing - he has worked out that for most NT people display is important, so looking good helps him feel confident and in control of a social situation, as does showing off his intelligence and knowledge. Young men are usually very competitive, and this may be his way of competing with others.

As you probably know, we Aspies are not good at empathy, although we can be considerate and caring with those we are close to. We don't tend to have a lot of real friends though.

Some Aspies are so wracked with anxiety they can barely go outside, so he us actually quite a success story. 

Is he seeing a professional at all?

Underlying his current behaviour is his autism which won't have changed and his innate intelligence which won't have changed. His autism means that he is particularly bad at picking up on social norms and signals and he will not recognise when he has gone beyond the bounds of good taste and decency. His intelligence has now shone through and he may have suffered depression and other mental health issues over the years. The isolation that autism creates is fertile ground for delusional and obsessive behaviour to take root in.

Ultimately, you can't live his life for him and he may have to learn some hard lessons for himself. This is true for all teenagers and I think it is common for autistic people to be particularly slow on the uptake and his learning will likely be prolonged and more painful than other people's experience.

The thing with the autistic state of mind is that it is fluidic, and some at first are unable to integrate fixed systems of logic - hence learning difficulties at school. Once though fixed systems of logic are learnt, these will still be used fluidly, and the larger majority people will not be able to circumnavigate it.

It is also quite normal for the vanity-blaze-affair to occur during and after educational training, in that teachers, lecturers and so fourth exhibit intellectual supperiority, and corrective attitudes, which of course he has mimmicked and is now modelling these behavourisms outside of the educational system.

Another factor here is lymbic development, as involves thrill seeking, feeling self important and risk taking - by way of boundary testing, i.e. the seeing how far people and events can be pushed or manipulated. Normally, this serves to cause enough familial friction and social cohesion to move out of the family home and live independently. This is generally quite noticeable by the age of 18, and on though to 27, or there abouts - in the case of many young adults.

Does this throw any useful light on your situation, or do you have any further questions?

Sincerely Thus,

D.

Maybe he wasn't stimulated enough as a child & suffered depression.

Has it possibly left & you're seeing who he really is?

Not all genius are people that make you feel good. Although Sherlock Holmes was a fictional character by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, many feel the character represents a person with high functioning Asperger's. In that although they poses genius, they get off on feeling they're the best. Other peoples emotions are secondary to their goal. And they may even fully admit they're a sociopath, but they see nothing wrong with that.