Confusion

Hi there I've just had a diagnosis of ASD/Aspergers last Wednesday, what I;m confused about is the different degrees of ASD, or HFA, LFA, Aspergers, Autism. The diagnosis was confirmed of ASD or what was known as Aspergers, tho I think that term is to un PC these days.

When the psychiatrist said I've ASD/Aspergers I did ask him "Is that a mild case of it", He said there's no such thing as a mild case you're on the spectrum or you're not. I've been working for an organisation that helps support adults with learning disabilities including Aspergers/Autism (I know the latter two aren't learning disabilities as such), I did mention it to the manager pre diagnosis that I may be on the spectrum , and her reply was "It can't be as bad as (I'll call him Bert) as Bert's autism. So it would appear that she was expecting me to function the same as a non ASD person, ie training the same, and not tailored to my needs. Anyway I don't want to get off the topic, but a number of incidents have happened in the 4 months I've been there that make myself and friends think that the manager is a bully. Just lucky I'm on a 0 hours contract, tho doing work under ESA "Permitted work" rules, so at least I've ESA coming in.

Sorry back on topic I know I'm not like Dustin Hoffman's character in Rain Man, tho I do sometimes struggle with what people are saying, I know in my first job  I did have a work colleague say that I shouldn't take him so seriously, tho sometimes I was unsure if he was joking or he was being serious. I dread meeting strangers incase they perceive me wrong or I make an idiot of myself, or I find the conversation isn't flowing. Again a similar thing with job interviews, I gather everyone ASD or not gets nervous before an interview, but with me it's like the words won't come out. One such question is "Who would you call if you saw a crime in progress" I couldn't think of "police" at the time without prompting, but it's so obvious sitting here. I gather most interviewers must be thinking "Who is this bloody idiot". Tho friends say I can look pretty impressive on paper, as I've shown them some job apps I've made.

I'm not one for rigid structure, I've seen Bert if he's cooking oven chips, line the chips in a straight line, like rows of soldiers on parade, whereas if I was cooking oven chips I'd tip some out onto a baking tray and arrange them flat. Tho sometimes I can be OCD about checking I've locked my door or I'm getting on the right train. I won't use busses after one left me stranded so it's trains or driving for me. I do get irate if people touch or move my stuff, maybe my mum thinks she's helping me, or it seems certain things may be conditional with me doing things her way. I don't mind friends say getting a book out or looking through my music collection. I do try and keep things reasonably clean, and yes I do sometimes get frustrated by mess, tho I do like to think of my desk or filing system as "organised chaos".

I think what maybe threw me is I did read that musician Gary Numan was diagnosed with a mild form of Asperger syndrome, tho the psychiarist said there isn't such a thing as "mild" or "severe". JUst what I struggle with is as real to me as to say Bert's autism is to him, or what Gary struggles with with his Aspergers. BTW if you get the chance to see Gary Numan in concert, go it's well worth it , saw him in Cambridge in 2009. I feel maybe i'm in good company , so many artists, inventors, scientists and musicians/composers with Aspergers.
I don't know wether to think of ASD as being like a paint chart so many different colours and then shades of those colours. Tho I don't know if ASD sounds worse that Aspergers to me how I've understood it in the past is HFA/Aspergers means a person is of above average intelligence, and those with autism seem to be lower on the intelligence scale, or maybe I've misunderstood it.  www.asperger-syndrome.me.uk/people.htm

                             

Parents
  • So is looking younger a trait of autism/aspergers/ASD, see I'm not sure what to call it. In my previous employment I was taken to look 12 years younger than I actually was.
    As regards "Bert" I would gather he seems reasonably intelligent, I think from what I've heard he's made progress in the previous 2 years. It's me who has what I call my "blonde moments" well I was blonde as a kid. just us blondes get more intelligent with age. IF Bert nipped out by himself I said "Shall I lock the door behind you" He said that he had his own key, of course he would it's his home as well as my workplace. Tho ib conversation with him it does seem to be yes, no , maybe Tho I do try and ask questions that require more than a yes/no answer.

    As regards severity of my ASD, I think the term "autism" seems to apply to Dustin Hoffman's character in Rain Man, or can apply to someone with a severe learning disability, or someone of seemingly lower intelligence, tho I didn't know what Bert was like 2-3 years ago, he seens to manage most things himself, but seems rather OCD.
    Maybe i just think employers may see the terms autism and autistic negatively.

    For those of us 60's and 70's kids you may remember Joey Deacon who was followed on Blue Peter for International Year Of The Disabled, tho I do remember that kids would use the term "Joey" as an insult, so I think the portrayal of disabled people in a positive light failed somewhat. From this article it would appear that "Mr Deacon was perceived to be "mentally subnormal" (that term sounds so offensive in the C21st) , tho it turned out he had normal mental ability.
    I'm just thinking sometimes I seem to talk rather fast, possibly when I'm anxious or enthusiastic about sonething.  I know certain family members have asked me to repeat things numerous times, tho I wonder is it my speech or if certain family members might be going a little deaf!!!
    Aspergers is probably the term I'd use for myself I might ask my employment advisor what she thinks, she's an aspie too. Maybe an aspie or one with such traits is able to recognise another aspie, (my mum thinks she might have it, unless she's just rather shy). I think with me I've a desire to make friends, tho sometimes a fear of making an idiot of myself stops me, or maybe I think the conversation might dry up, or if I get onto a favourite subject I might bore them. I know my mum thinks I'm eccentric which I know I can be around friends, tho I feel at family events I have to try and surpress some of my eccentricity. I know previously I've worked in customer service type roles qand if someone is rude to me or asks what seems to be a stupid question I really have to hold back from being flippant.
    Tho put me in a railway  museum I'm in my element , I think a job where I can talk about my enthusiasmor perhaps working in  theatrical costume might be right up my street. I know as a teen I wanted to be a train driver or join the RAF. I'm thinking I'd like to test the water for HGV driving, I think that's perhaps right amount of interaction, and I enjoy playing music whilst driving.    

Reply
  • So is looking younger a trait of autism/aspergers/ASD, see I'm not sure what to call it. In my previous employment I was taken to look 12 years younger than I actually was.
    As regards "Bert" I would gather he seems reasonably intelligent, I think from what I've heard he's made progress in the previous 2 years. It's me who has what I call my "blonde moments" well I was blonde as a kid. just us blondes get more intelligent with age. IF Bert nipped out by himself I said "Shall I lock the door behind you" He said that he had his own key, of course he would it's his home as well as my workplace. Tho ib conversation with him it does seem to be yes, no , maybe Tho I do try and ask questions that require more than a yes/no answer.

    As regards severity of my ASD, I think the term "autism" seems to apply to Dustin Hoffman's character in Rain Man, or can apply to someone with a severe learning disability, or someone of seemingly lower intelligence, tho I didn't know what Bert was like 2-3 years ago, he seens to manage most things himself, but seems rather OCD.
    Maybe i just think employers may see the terms autism and autistic negatively.

    For those of us 60's and 70's kids you may remember Joey Deacon who was followed on Blue Peter for International Year Of The Disabled, tho I do remember that kids would use the term "Joey" as an insult, so I think the portrayal of disabled people in a positive light failed somewhat. From this article it would appear that "Mr Deacon was perceived to be "mentally subnormal" (that term sounds so offensive in the C21st) , tho it turned out he had normal mental ability.
    I'm just thinking sometimes I seem to talk rather fast, possibly when I'm anxious or enthusiastic about sonething.  I know certain family members have asked me to repeat things numerous times, tho I wonder is it my speech or if certain family members might be going a little deaf!!!
    Aspergers is probably the term I'd use for myself I might ask my employment advisor what she thinks, she's an aspie too. Maybe an aspie or one with such traits is able to recognise another aspie, (my mum thinks she might have it, unless she's just rather shy). I think with me I've a desire to make friends, tho sometimes a fear of making an idiot of myself stops me, or maybe I think the conversation might dry up, or if I get onto a favourite subject I might bore them. I know my mum thinks I'm eccentric which I know I can be around friends, tho I feel at family events I have to try and surpress some of my eccentricity. I know previously I've worked in customer service type roles qand if someone is rude to me or asks what seems to be a stupid question I really have to hold back from being flippant.
    Tho put me in a railway  museum I'm in my element , I think a job where I can talk about my enthusiasmor perhaps working in  theatrical costume might be right up my street. I know as a teen I wanted to be a train driver or join the RAF. I'm thinking I'd like to test the water for HGV driving, I think that's perhaps right amount of interaction, and I enjoy playing music whilst driving.    

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