Hi,
I am a 22 year old male student, who has been researching about autism for the last 4 or 5 months, and am quite sure that I fall on the spectrum. Earlier today I went to my GP to ask about autism and request a referal. He told me to come back with a list of reasons written down so he could assess them and forward them on with the referal.
Below are the reasons I came up with to back my case;
- Really struggle to maintain eye contact
- Become tense and stressed when people touch me / vice versa. Haven't hugged my family members in years, normally try and leave a minute early and wave goodbye from the car.
- Repetitive actions, general snapping my fingers while walking around. (This doesn't happen to often, normally just when I'm bored, it happens without me thinking about it.)
- Using the same phrases, normally when I can't think of a response to a conversation
- Can never remember people's birthdays.
- Never notice any changes to someones appearance. (Quite often they take this personally)
- I also can't remember things that people say (eg: if a work colleague says they're going to the cinema, I'll give them a blank look the following day when they say they had a good night.)
- Quite often I will ask somebody to repeat themselves, even though I heard them clearly the first time, it just gives me time to think of a relevant reply.
- I hate walking through the street. There are so many people, sounds and things to look at, it makes me tense. I tend to just look at the ground.
- Struggle understanding body language, facial expressions and social cues.
- Not knowing when it's my time to talk, especially on the phone.
- Small chit chat is virtually impossible for me.
- However I can talk for hours about a topic that interests me.
- Constantly thinking about my body posture. To a point where I will miss everything someone has said because I'm too busy adjusting my position.
- Being told I'm impolite or keep saying/talking about the same things.
- Can talk about myself for ages. Normally in conversations most of my responses will begin with 'I'.
- I enjoy being alone in my room and I avoid social situations (nights out etc...). If I can't avoid it, I will stress a bit in the time leading up.
- When it comes to arrangements, I plan every little detail in my head prior to the event. (Even to a point where I've been eating the same food because I can plan my route around the supermarket.)
- Massive obsession with music, maths and technology. Struggle to maintain interest in anything else that doesn't fall under these categories.
- Strong self-discipline..... or stubbornness
- May be minor, but I read somewhere that bad handwriting is common?
I should also mention that I have taken various online AQ tests and have scored between 37 - 40 (out of 50) on all of them.
I'm sure there's more but that's all I can think of at the moment.
Am I autistic? or is it possibly something else?
If I am autistic, is there really any benefit in going through a diagnosis? I'm not looking for any help or support, and I don't want to be judged for being labeled (aka job applications etc...)
Also, can I tell people that I am autistic? Even without a diagnosis? Is chatting with yourselves at The National Autistic Society enough to vouch for my condition? or will people shrug off the idea when I say I'm autistic. I like to think I hide it well, and I did once drunkenly tell someone I was concerned about having autism and they didn't believe me.
Sorry for all the questions and thank you for your time
Matt
