Unsure about diagnosis

It is interesting to read your comments above. I am new to the realisation that autism may be a causal factor in much that has happened in my life. Not that I'm complaining. I have three great children and as I write, two terrific grandsons. I had a good (though not outstanding) career as a university lecturer.

However, life has not always been easy. At school, I was the but of many sarcastic tirades. I was often lonely as a young person. However, at work, I found the formal activities, like teaching, within my reach. It allowed me to express myself. Nowadays, I am a Reader Minister in the Chruch of England. I feel useful!

Looking back, I think I would have been spared much of the self-criticality, the prolonged anxiety attacks, and the loneliness (even with family, I have found it hard to interact). If I had my time again, I would go for diagnosis. It would have made sense of so much, and would have helped me to cope better with so much that has made life difficult.

My answer is to accept who you are and to use every resource available to be as much as you were designed to be.

Hi, I am aged 50 and was only diagnosed in July 2016.

For me it was essential as I couldn't fully even begin to accept myself or that I might be on the autistic spectrum until I was formally diagnosed. When I first met someone from the team who do the diagnostic tests I really didn't want to be on the spectrum at all but other therapy hadn't worked and I had to find out if the reason was because I didn't have the condition that i was being treated for. I was then invited to go to a support group whilst waiting for formal testing but although i recognised myself in the things others in the group said i just didn't want it. I thought going for testing would tell me that I wasn't on the spectrum and if I was I wanted a cure and immediately.

Diagnosis came and with that the need to understand before i could accept it, there was period of bereavement for the person that i had never known. Since diagnosis I feel changed and others comment on it. I feel more free, I don't have to fit into other peoples ideas of who i am or what i should be doing - i don't have to go to join groups or meet new people if all i really want is to sit at home and read or watch tv or not see anyone for days. I feel free to question things eg - I would think ' I should get dressed and go out and do something'. Now if i think this i ask myself ' who said so?'' Why must you? Is it really what I want to do today?' = and i can say yes or no or whatever and it's ok.

I finally feel like I have found where I belong, I have found my 'tribe' and I am starting to say - this is me - I've never known who i am = and it's ok to be me.

The few people I have told have been supportive and are now happy to let me talk to the dog or cat at a party after an hour or so of mixing as they know i am happier that way. Right now i am more content with my life and feel more condident than i have every felt.

Diagnosis has also helped me to get support and feel supported.

Do what is right for you - i agree, if the benefits outweigh the risks then go for diagnosis and if not then don't, many people don't are happy with that. It's also helpful if you are studying as you may get help such as a quiet room to take an exam and extra time to think and process things or help with visual and audio media - i am going to get transcripts of dvds on my open university course.

Good luck in your journey, i hope it goes well for you.

Hello!

Your question is a common one, maybe because it depends on your personal circumstances, so there's no right answer. I was diagnosed at 31, and I'm 95% sure my life would have been much, much easier if my autism was picked up when I was younger. But that's because I developed severe mental health problems as a teenager that were related to the stress of being bullied for being different, not being understood, and trying hard to pass as neurotypical. Because no one knew I had autism, they didn't know how to help, and I spent years seeing therapists and doctors who made all sorts of incorrect assumptions about what was 'wrong'. I also dropped out of university several times because I didn't have the right support in place. As I got better at describing what I struggle with I got better support, and I'm now on my second Masters, so it has made a huge difference.

Having said all of that, this sort of story is common, but not universal. Some people with undiagnosed autism don't experience the same sort of stress, either because they're surrounded by people who are understanding of people who are a bit different, because they have a close family or other similar friends, because they find an educational or career path which is really well suited to their personality and cognitive traits, and so on. So it's almost like they create the perfect environment for someone with autism without knowing they have it! 

With regards to work, there are also problems with either decision. If you don't get a diagnosis and you do have problems (like not really fitting in, being asked to do things that you struggle with, etc), it's hard to explain what the problem is or to get reasonable adjustments. On the other hand, if you do get a diagnosis, even though it's illegal to discriminate against people on the basis of their having a disability, some people still try to get away with it. It's kind of dependent on where you end up and what your colleages/manager is like. That's pretty unaccceptable really, because we shouldn't have to rely on being lucky enough to work somewhere that's understanding! I think it is changing slowly though, which is good.

Basically it's down to you - whether you feel that having undiagnosed autism has caused difficulties in your life so far, and whether you think the possible benefits outweigh the possible downsides. Good luck with deciding!