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Awaiting appointment

Becky87

Hi there I am new to this site, so just to start I have 2 daughters and my eldest who is 4 is currently waiting to be assessed by the paediatrician. I have thought that she may be on spectrum for the past year and half but kept going hot and cold with the idea, and I am still not sure! She would be highly functioning if she is on the spectrum. She has recently started school and I've been worried anyway but now even more so. My health visitor said not to mention to the school any concerns to see if they picked up on anything but today less than two weeks into starting school there was an incident where she had what I call a meltdown and she lashed out at another child. Apparently the child just came over to the area where she was playing and she lashed out, but I also know my child is very particular and would lash out as she in her head has a plan on how things should be, so then this child maybe coming into her space was too much. I'm not trying to make excuses as she should not have lashed out at the child. My question is do you think I should have a word with the teacher and fill her in. I am so worried at the moment and I'm just so concerned she is misunderstood. A few opinions would be welcomed. And also your thoughts and experiences would be welcomed. As I said we are waiting for an appointment but that could be after Christmas, and I am just concerned they are judging her on maybe something she is unable to control. We at home know roughly how to deal with certain situations that arise.

Parents

  • I am glad you found my post helpful, and also that you have chosen to talk to the teacher.  They can only help you if they are aware of the facts.  You may find her behaviour sky rockets as there is a big change from 3 hrs a day to full time. (can you tell I want to be a teacher?)  This settles down but can be frustrating for a few weeks (we get it every time she finishes school for the weekend, end of terms, back to school to mention a few!).

    Write a list down of any queries you have, like techniques they can use in school that you find helpful. My daughter during a very difficult time (my husband passed away in May), had jigsaws, colouring in books, photographs and a latch hook rug at school in a special box.  Whenever times were hard, she would do one of these and return about 5 / 10 mins later to the class.  Also ask what techniques they can use to help that you may not be aware of.  I say write it down, because, as soon as you go in, alot of teachers try to have you in and out and you can forget what you wanted to ask (I still do it now, so should listen to my own advice!).

    If you are interested, I can find those articles for you, I found them extremely helpful as they showed me traights that my daughter had, but I didn't know that it was an autism idicator.  When I did my questionnaire the doctors sent over, I filled it out, but be very wary, it is designed for boys and they present the behaviour differently.  if you think you have other symptoms (as I did) that are not on there, write a detailed letter to send back with it.  I found this helped.  I had two even bigger hurdles than fighting the 'girls' autism part.  My mother in-law passed away in 2014 (my daughter idolised her!) and when my little girl was three my husband had a heart attack and triple bypass (this was very serious and he took a whole year to recover, only to be (a week later) diagnosed with cancer.  All of this was seen as the actual cause of her behaviour and I had to really think about her behaviour prior to all of this, when life was 'normal' so to speak.  We had issues changing nappies, getting in the car, being in the car for more than 30 mins, coming home from nursery, never joing in with other children, lining things up, being dedicated to jigsaws and not doing role play with toys. I wrote a letter about all of this, and spoke to speech and Language, who despite not really being helpful in her needs, did back this up with a 3 page letter to the forum which really helped our case.

    Anyway, let me know if I can offer any help in any way.  I could have really done with this site when I thought I was the only one going through all of these things prior to diagnosis.  Good luck, and lets hope you get the right diagnosis. 

    CJ

Reply

  • I am glad you found my post helpful, and also that you have chosen to talk to the teacher.  They can only help you if they are aware of the facts.  You may find her behaviour sky rockets as there is a big change from 3 hrs a day to full time. (can you tell I want to be a teacher?)  This settles down but can be frustrating for a few weeks (we get it every time she finishes school for the weekend, end of terms, back to school to mention a few!).

    Write a list down of any queries you have, like techniques they can use in school that you find helpful. My daughter during a very difficult time (my husband passed away in May), had jigsaws, colouring in books, photographs and a latch hook rug at school in a special box.  Whenever times were hard, she would do one of these and return about 5 / 10 mins later to the class.  Also ask what techniques they can use to help that you may not be aware of.  I say write it down, because, as soon as you go in, alot of teachers try to have you in and out and you can forget what you wanted to ask (I still do it now, so should listen to my own advice!).

    If you are interested, I can find those articles for you, I found them extremely helpful as they showed me traights that my daughter had, but I didn't know that it was an autism idicator.  When I did my questionnaire the doctors sent over, I filled it out, but be very wary, it is designed for boys and they present the behaviour differently.  if you think you have other symptoms (as I did) that are not on there, write a detailed letter to send back with it.  I found this helped.  I had two even bigger hurdles than fighting the 'girls' autism part.  My mother in-law passed away in 2014 (my daughter idolised her!) and when my little girl was three my husband had a heart attack and triple bypass (this was very serious and he took a whole year to recover, only to be (a week later) diagnosed with cancer.  All of this was seen as the actual cause of her behaviour and I had to really think about her behaviour prior to all of this, when life was 'normal' so to speak.  We had issues changing nappies, getting in the car, being in the car for more than 30 mins, coming home from nursery, never joing in with other children, lining things up, being dedicated to jigsaws and not doing role play with toys. I wrote a letter about all of this, and spoke to speech and Language, who despite not really being helpful in her needs, did back this up with a 3 page letter to the forum which really helped our case.

    Anyway, let me know if I can offer any help in any way.  I could have really done with this site when I thought I was the only one going through all of these things prior to diagnosis.  Good luck, and lets hope you get the right diagnosis. 

    CJ

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