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Awaiting appointment

Becky87

Hi there I am new to this site, so just to start I have 2 daughters and my eldest who is 4 is currently waiting to be assessed by the paediatrician. I have thought that she may be on spectrum for the past year and half but kept going hot and cold with the idea, and I am still not sure! She would be highly functioning if she is on the spectrum. She has recently started school and I've been worried anyway but now even more so. My health visitor said not to mention to the school any concerns to see if they picked up on anything but today less than two weeks into starting school there was an incident where she had what I call a meltdown and she lashed out at another child. Apparently the child just came over to the area where she was playing and she lashed out, but I also know my child is very particular and would lash out as she in her head has a plan on how things should be, so then this child maybe coming into her space was too much. I'm not trying to make excuses as she should not have lashed out at the child. My question is do you think I should have a word with the teacher and fill her in. I am so worried at the moment and I'm just so concerned she is misunderstood. A few opinions would be welcomed. And also your thoughts and experiences would be welcomed. As I said we are waiting for an appointment but that could be after Christmas, and I am just concerned they are judging her on maybe something she is unable to control. We at home know roughly how to deal with certain situations that arise.

Parents

  • I cannot work out why your health visitor advised this, other than so the school can offer a non-judgemental opinion.

    However as a mother of an eight year old who was diagnosed at the end of August this year, I can offer you some things I have picked up along the way - but please note, these are only my opinions and not what you should or shouldn't do.

    I personally would tell her teacher. You have learnt ways of dealing with / managing some difficult behaviour, and if she requires her own 'space' to process tasks etc. the teachers would only benefit from this information and you are less likely to be called into school for having a disruptive child.

    I have been lucky in a way that my daughter is a mouse at school and monster at home.

    Our diagnosis took about 2 years to obtain, I thought she was aged just one, but kept talking myself out of it until she was about six, when I did loads of research.  just to warn you, it is very hard to get a confirmed diagnosis (apparently) for a girl as they can 'mask' the normal indicators.  I read an article on the NHS website and one from the SENCO magazine from the schools.  They had very interesting information regarding research into girls autism and the differences between symptoms of the boys.

    I think you are right, the teachers may judge her, but they should pick up that she has differences that they may need to address, however, they are just as likely to think she is being naughty.

    Nobody picked up that my (Jane) was autistic as she was so quite at school although they did notice she had hearing issues which I hadn't noted.  Even a former Senco who taught her for two years thought she was fine, and I was worried over nothing! She was 5 / 6 and still couldn't add 1 and 1 sometimes she could rememeber, but most of the time she would guess.

    Her next teacher and TA were and are still both amazing, they understand her needs and she has progressed this last year really well academically, but is still behind.

    Go with what your gut tells you, I listened to mine, and ended up with a confirmed diagnosis, and I am relieved as she will have support now. Also I told her and she was over the moon becuase I think she had started to realise she was different and there was a reason.  I seem to have picked up that many people on this site are relivied to have a late diagnosis rather than none.  It has explained their difficult lives.

    You will be in for a rocky time, but we all go through that, and to be honest I am glad they were so thorough as I know she IS autistic, and that I wasn't a bad parent.  If my children were the other way round, I would have asked for a diagnosis several years earlier, being the first there is no status quo, everything is guesswork.

    Any way, good luck

    CJ

Reply

  • I cannot work out why your health visitor advised this, other than so the school can offer a non-judgemental opinion.

    However as a mother of an eight year old who was diagnosed at the end of August this year, I can offer you some things I have picked up along the way - but please note, these are only my opinions and not what you should or shouldn't do.

    I personally would tell her teacher. You have learnt ways of dealing with / managing some difficult behaviour, and if she requires her own 'space' to process tasks etc. the teachers would only benefit from this information and you are less likely to be called into school for having a disruptive child.

    I have been lucky in a way that my daughter is a mouse at school and monster at home.

    Our diagnosis took about 2 years to obtain, I thought she was aged just one, but kept talking myself out of it until she was about six, when I did loads of research.  just to warn you, it is very hard to get a confirmed diagnosis (apparently) for a girl as they can 'mask' the normal indicators.  I read an article on the NHS website and one from the SENCO magazine from the schools.  They had very interesting information regarding research into girls autism and the differences between symptoms of the boys.

    I think you are right, the teachers may judge her, but they should pick up that she has differences that they may need to address, however, they are just as likely to think she is being naughty.

    Nobody picked up that my (Jane) was autistic as she was so quite at school although they did notice she had hearing issues which I hadn't noted.  Even a former Senco who taught her for two years thought she was fine, and I was worried over nothing! She was 5 / 6 and still couldn't add 1 and 1 sometimes she could rememeber, but most of the time she would guess.

    Her next teacher and TA were and are still both amazing, they understand her needs and she has progressed this last year really well academically, but is still behind.

    Go with what your gut tells you, I listened to mine, and ended up with a confirmed diagnosis, and I am relieved as she will have support now. Also I told her and she was over the moon becuase I think she had started to realise she was different and there was a reason.  I seem to have picked up that many people on this site are relivied to have a late diagnosis rather than none.  It has explained their difficult lives.

    You will be in for a rocky time, but we all go through that, and to be honest I am glad they were so thorough as I know she IS autistic, and that I wasn't a bad parent.  If my children were the other way round, I would have asked for a diagnosis several years earlier, being the first there is no status quo, everything is guesswork.

    Any way, good luck

    CJ

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