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My son is terrified using the toilet

roosmum

Hi

My 5yr old son has sensory issues and is being assisted with/assessed for his autistic traits.

Since he was a baby we've had toileting issues.  He witheld from a very early age and screamed and fought with fear if we had to use a public changing station.

We are seeing a continence nurse who believes his fear stems from the pain of constipation but I strongly believe his fear caused the constipation and witholding. The continence nurse is addressing the constipation with Movicol and that is working the way it should. Unfortunately the anxiety my son experiences is increasing tenfold.  His behaviour is severely effected leading up to him opening his bowels and he is hitting/biting whilst desperately trying to stop himself going at school.  He will not go at school even in a nappy as he's worried about being laughed at by other children.

He sits on the toilet to wee without a problem but always asks for a nappy/pull up to poo in.  He sits on the toilet with his nappy on but wont progress to having a hole cut or opening the nappy or using a potty.  He cannot communicate to us what it is that he's frightened of.  We've been stuck in this rut for years.

We've tried social stories, blowing bubbles/balloons, rewards and nothing.  I am very concerned about his anxiety, it's causing him so much distress and in September he will finally be full-time at school but that means he can't come home at lunchtime and use a nappy.  He has been in trouble at school all year because of his challenging behaviours and this is making it worse!

Has anyone had any experience with this or have any suggestions?  Willing to try ANYTHING!!

  • My 7 year old  son has a problem with going to the toilet too. We have tryed everything from sticker charts to bubbles but he still poos in his pants. 

    He was diagnosed with autism last April. We can't seem to have an answer and he is so strong willed too that doesn't help matters either.

    He is on Movicol so that helps him but he is pooing at school and I'm so worried that kids are going to bully him at some point. We will keep on but it's so hard. 

  • My youngest son used to fear defecating as well. He is now 15 and was only disgnosed ASD last year.

    He used to hold it in until he literally would leak and then he not tell anyone, sometimes for hours that he'd had an accident.

    It has gradually resolved itself over the years. He will still occasionally have accidents when he is absorbed in an activity.

    Whenever he was asked why he would hold it, he mainly said he didn't know, didn't know he needed to go, or when he did realise he needed to go he thought his organs would come out. He used to pass large stools (still does) which must have been painful, he never said if they were or not, but it might have been part of it all. Ironically the more he held it the larger the stools got, so it was a repeating cycle.

    Doctors didn't help or offer any solutions. I just tried encouraging him and reminding him to go several times a day. It was very hard work. Only time and a lot of patience seems have helped.