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Should I bother to seek a diagnosis

Hazelspoon

I'm 36 and a mum of two little kids. I've suspected for a while that I may be HFA. I feel like if this had been picked up when I was a child who would rather sit quietly and read than take part in fun activities and who just didn't "get " the rules of socialising, that it might have prevented a lot of pain and suffering as i bounced around the mental health services well into my 20s. I never got a definitive diagnosis and I'm much much better now.  

I have learned how to emulate neurotypical people but if you put me in a room with all my favourite people It feels like fingernails down the blackboard. I hate talking on the phone, I get in to research spirals when something interests me and info dump when people brimg it up. I love machines and engineering more than any woman I've ever met and I can't really tell you why.  I'm super methodical and parenting has been a challenge, but I did a lot of research and make sure to be physically affectionate and make eye contact with my kids (I hate eye contact) 

I like my music super super loud, i constantly tap my fingers together and press on a spot on my lip. I have a very high IQ.  

So far, so autistic, but I'm OK now. I've learned to "pass". I've set my life up in such a way to avoid lots of interpersonal contact.  My partner I can deal with because he is temperamentally very similar. Also introverted and loves machines. He had learning difficulties as a child and delayed speech until age 12

Is there any point seeking a diagnosis when this isn't causing me a problem? I used to use drugs and drink bt when I stopped trying to force myself to socialise regularly Ididn't need it any more. 

I've done the online screening test a few times and always scored off the scale. The computer tells me to seek out a diagnosis but what would it achieve?

Parents

  • Thanks for replying. I think a lot of my reluctance had to do with the fact that I have multiple health problems. I've spent 10 years getting a diagnosis of Ehlers Danlos syndrome, I also have fibromyalgia, hypothyroidism, and I've just had even more tests to confirm I have pelvic congestion syndrome also. 

    I feel like I already take up so much of my doctors time because I have so many conditions none of which have easy answers and it's not really the best use of the health system. whilst in my heart I know i would almost certainly get the AS diagnosis,  I am starting to feel like someone who seeks out medical conditions and I hate to be that person. 

    I don't qualify for any distability benefits because I can walk and talk. 

    Maybe in a few years once I've got a handle on all my other medical conditions I might pursue it but I feel like for now it's enough to know it myself. I can let myself off the hook for not wanting to socialise, and my wierd repetitive hobbies and stims.

    I've read that diagnosis involves your parents and there's no way I'd want them contacting my mother as she has a personality disorder and is a chronic liar. My earliest memories are her castigating me for having "no social skills" My family are an unsupportive bunch so I wouldn't bother telling them as they would dismiss it out of hand. 

    If one of my kids showed signs too it would change things  and i would seek a diagnosis but remarkably I seem to have produced two little extroverts!

Reply

  • Thanks for replying. I think a lot of my reluctance had to do with the fact that I have multiple health problems. I've spent 10 years getting a diagnosis of Ehlers Danlos syndrome, I also have fibromyalgia, hypothyroidism, and I've just had even more tests to confirm I have pelvic congestion syndrome also. 

    I feel like I already take up so much of my doctors time because I have so many conditions none of which have easy answers and it's not really the best use of the health system. whilst in my heart I know i would almost certainly get the AS diagnosis,  I am starting to feel like someone who seeks out medical conditions and I hate to be that person. 

    I don't qualify for any distability benefits because I can walk and talk. 

    Maybe in a few years once I've got a handle on all my other medical conditions I might pursue it but I feel like for now it's enough to know it myself. I can let myself off the hook for not wanting to socialise, and my wierd repetitive hobbies and stims.

    I've read that diagnosis involves your parents and there's no way I'd want them contacting my mother as she has a personality disorder and is a chronic liar. My earliest memories are her castigating me for having "no social skills" My family are an unsupportive bunch so I wouldn't bother telling them as they would dismiss it out of hand. 

    If one of my kids showed signs too it would change things  and i would seek a diagnosis but remarkably I seem to have produced two little extroverts!

Children
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