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Possible ASD Traits

Wellington

Hello everyone. I know that a lot a people post on here wondering if they are on the spectrum or not and I am afraid that I am another one. The problem I have is that I do not know anyone with Autism to query things by and after two years of debating whether or not I might be, I have decided to seek the opinions here. Many thanks in advance to anyone who replies. I appreciate that you can only give an opinion here and not any form of diagnosis but your comments will be one factor to help me to decide if I should "seek" a formal diagnosis.

After watching a TV documentary on Aspergers I began to suspect that I might be on the spectrum. This was two years ago and ever since then I have read many books, followed blogs, forums, watched video posts on all things related to ASD. Therefore I grew more and more convinced that the issues I have faced all my life are explained by this. It might sound a little cliche but the times I have thought "they are describing me exactly" have stacked up.

So why do I think I might be? Firstly I have never felt connected to many people, like everyone else gets it but I do not. When I interact with people it is like I am acting, and the way I communicate to others feels garbled in my head. I am told I communicate well but it is hard to believe this. For instance my speech seems muddled and when people tell me it is not, I just feel confused. I do not always get social talk, especially humour sometimes. I false laugh but often I am thinking why is that even funny? I also store information and often during conversatiions relay that back to others even when it is not required. It is a joke in he office where I work but they often tell me to stop talking. I have had friends in my life but not many and I find it hard to maintain friendships over long periods of time.

Also I am not sure when to speak when talking, I am conscious of interupting people or feel that the conversation has moved on before I have had a chance to say what I am thinking. I can aslo struggle to start talking sometimes, alhough this is less of a an occurance. This also extends to social media - I have wanted to post on this forum for months for example. Finally I often rehearse conversations before they happen and steer the actual conversation round to this when they do take place.

I do not like change although I can manage it. The strange thing is often small change is more destressing then big change. For example, the view from my office window will be changing due to building works next door, and although it seems stupid to feel the way I do, it really bothers me. I like repetition and order a lot. I love geometery, maths and nature because they are trustworthy. They have set rules and they make sense. People often do not. I know repetition is an Autistic trait and I think I am sightly more than neurotypical with this. For example I listen to audiobooks and can listen to the same book over and over again till I can almost quote the whole thing. I have listened to whole books three to five times over in a row.

When something takes my interest I become completely absorbed in it. I am not sure if I have a long lasting special interest but I definitely have periods when one hobby or another has been intense. I seem to get hooked on a subject, consume information about it, study it, and then eventually move on to the next thing.

I have some sensitivity issues which I know people with ASD have. I dislike bright lights (daylight bulbs only at home where I can control it), extreme heat (hate summer) and certain high pitched noises. My sense of smell is also wrong, I really like a lot of smells people normally hate.

I have periods of loneliness but I generally like and even prefer time alone. This confuses me.

Probably my main trait is an anxiety. I am an extremely anxious person and always have been. I worry about everything from major things to minor things. If somebody was to ask me how do you mainly feel, I would reply anxious.

All these things and more point some what to ASD. I would like to go into more depth but this post is already getting too long. However, if I am on the spectrum I think I am only just on as I do have traits that suggest I am not. For instance I have empathy and generally mange with day to day life.

The problem I have is that I want to know but feel a little scared in case I am not. This answer would make sense of my life from a troubled childhood, to a confused adult life and one which worries about the future. I am married, have a good job and function very well apart from this constant not knowing who I am and why I feel the way I do. Do I have enough traits to warrant a diagnostic? I am not looking for any help from a dianostic, any drain on health resources or special treatment to help me. I just want to know - yes or no.

Sorry this is so long but thanks for reading.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    A score of 39 realy doesn't leave much room for doubt. Presumably you have readd the section on that site about interpreting the results? The need for certainty is entirely consistent with a diagnosis too!

    I was diagnosed privately but I was referred to a specialist by my GP so I have had no issues with its authenticity. In my case I had a major need as I was going through a crisis at the time so a diagnosis out of curiosity may be treated differently.

    I'm not sure how well we can judge our empathy/sympathy for ourselves. I thought I was normal and I thought that I could detect emotions but other people have judged that I am not good at it and my inability to respond appropriately is, in hindsight, my achilles heel.

  • Hello Recombinantsocks, thank you very much for responding.

    I forgot to mention in my post that I had taken the test and scored 39.

    I think you might be right about the anxiety - it is difficult to seperate all the issues I have which is why I wanted to talk to people on the spectrum. To get a clearer view of what my traits may be.

    I understand the point about people, I can feel exhuasted after being in the company of even a few people I know, whereas often when it's just me I feel so different. The point you make about empathy vs sympathy is something I had not considered. I did a strengthfinder test and it came out as one of my strengths, empathy. Let me explain what I mean a bit more. I can normally sense when another person are troubled, upset or angry for example. The problem is I am not sure how to intereact with them knowng this. I always feel panicky like I should be doing something to help or interact with the person but I haven't a clue exactly what to say or do. I try my best but often I just want to run away from the situation. Does that make sense? It's a lot easier with people I know very well but even then sometimes it's awkward. It makes my anxiety sky rocket sometimes.

    With regards seeking a diagnosis, I agree that if I am functioning well then it would be difficult to get a one. The problem is that I need to know if this is me. I have felt out of place all my life and I wish to just understand myself. ASC seem like a possible fit and after two years of considerig it, I would like to know one way or the other. I know some people self diagnose and that's ok, but for me it would need to come from a medical expert. I am thinking of seeking a private diagnosis but I also know people have mixed views on that too.

    Once again thank you.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi Wellington

    I would firstly recommend that you take the test at aspergerstest.net/.../ this is a fairly reliable test that has come from respectable sources.

    Your post suggests that ASC may be the issue that you have but...

    People with autism are often anxious but there are lots of anxious people who are not autistic so this is an example of something that is not really an autistic trait. Similarly with bright lights etc, these are problems for us but they do not define our autism.

    Loneliness is a feeling we get - we are normal feeling people inside! but we often like to be alone as the struglle of ineracting with people can be unrewarding or even painful. Are you sure that you feel empathy rather than sympathy - i feel sympathy when I know someone is in trouble but I often miss the signs of distress that 'nomal' people would spot.

    Your struggle with making yourself understood and understanding others is the central issue of autism. Communication just does not come naturally to us as we don't pick up on a lot of non verbal cues that other people can use. This can be tackled though and we can learn some of the stuff that other people do automatically.

    If you have the traits but don't have any significant problems that need solving then you would struggle to get referred for diagnosis but if you have problems with anxiety or other issues (e.g. inability to make and maintain stable relationships in domestic or work environments) then you should seek help.