Hi! My name is Syra(Alias) and I'm 17 years old. I am in a family of 6 consisting of my parents and my three siblings. My mother is a doctor with three specializations and my father is a ship captain so he is only home for two months in a year.
My mother is a career oriented woman and so my siblings and I grew up with the maids. I personally feel that I did not recieve the attention my mom should have given me growing up but I'm over that now and I'm more concerned over my older brother who is 23. My mother told us that my brother had ADHD but now that I've started college and met with a bunch of specialists, they told me that my brother does not have ADHD but it sounds more like Autism is the right diagnosis.
I didn't know that at all or that he even had but upon reading the signs, it might be the case. My brother finished college with a degree in animation but has since never landed a job, he doesn't have friends and he spends his days watching anime and playing video games that he uploads to Youtube. When ever he talks its always about whatever is interesting to him. He never improves or changes his habits, an example would be that I commute home from school and that I've told him countless times that he needs to check his phone for messages or at least check his phone to see if I had arrived at the pick up place. I've stood in the pick up place in the dark many times, he had forgotten that I needed picking up even though I commute everyday. I told him that something could've happened to me one night when I was forced to walk home and he shrugged me off. My parents moved me to a dormitory because of that. Whenever I ask him questions about his job, plans for the future and anything that he doesnt want to talk about, he shuts up and waits for me to stop talking about it then he proceeds to talk about his day and his anime and his games. He has a routine and a way of doing things. He always wakes up at this time, plays games at this time, talks a walk outside at this time once a day. He also has zero sense of empathy.
Today I decided to make this account and ask someone because he punched my sister multiple times in the car. So my sister and my brother have a really bad relationship and she commutes everyday to work to he picks her up, they argued about how she told him an hour in advance to pick her up in an hour and he came really late. They fought and he has only punched her once before when she was pregnant with my nephew. On the way home the fight escalated and he started hurting her as the car was moving and he was driving. she got scared and called the cops when they got home and they waited till my mom came home from a meeting, she talked to my brother and didnt talk to my sister. She said my sister was exaggerating and my brother apologized. My sister started talking to me about what had happened, my mom left for another meeting and not even 30 minutes had passed. My sister wanted to go to the police because my brother threated to kill her. She put me on speaker phone and had me listen in on a conversion they were having. He was on his computer again and she asked him if he was sincere in his apology and he said yes but when she asked him if he should deserve punishment for beating her, he said she was to be punished for verbal abuse to him. They are just a year apart in age and he is huge in comparison to her. I talked to my sister and told her my idea on why my brother always acts like he's never wrong in anything. He might be autistic, I don't mean to say this out of overexaggeration but many of my uncles and my cousins from my mother's side have learning disabilities, no social interaction skills or are diagnosed with Autism, one of my cousins live in a cage. My mother's side of the family have always looked down on my cousins and uncles with diagnosed or what I believe to be undiagnosed mental illnessess and have always interpreted it to me as them being losers of some sore. She admitted to me that autism is hereditary in her side but she never told my family anything about this or if my brother was autistic. She raised us and my brother with the mindset that we were all normal and we should have the same expectations of my brother and that is why my sister hates him because he has never changed or improved over the years. He has never ever been to any specialists or talked to anyone about it. I suspect my mother knows but Im not sure since she never talks to us about it.
I just want to help my brother get the help he needs IF he really is undiagnosed with autism. He chatted me on FB shortly after their conversation wherein he blamed my sister for everything that happened.
I understand that I'm only 17 and maybe I might be wrong about this but since my family has never known this to be a possibilty, we have treated him like always or normal. An example would be he let my little brother(16) hang out with a boy and two girls in my room and didnt think twice about what could happen or how wrong that was and he blamed my little brother for everything and we scolded my big brother harshly because he didnt act like a big brother at all. One time he gave a our house keys to a helper and only told us when my mom started looking for it. The worst part was when he hurt my sister, he didn't think he was wrong and said that he acted in self defense to her verbal abuse.
I need a second opinion, no one has ever talked about the possibility that he had autism ever in the household and my dad and mom had always treat him like a black sheep. I told my mom about the possibility and she denied it straightaway and didn't want to talk about it. I dont want this to reach a point where my brother would fatally harm my sister or any of us before my mom would act.
I really don't know what to do. Is my brother autistic? Should I tell my mom to reccomend him to a specialist? How do I convince my mom that her relatives aren't actually losers but people with mental illnessess and not given attention?
Thank you for taking your time to read my angsty rant. I appreciate anything, even criticism in regards to the situation and if you have questions, please do ask. :)