Hello there ! I have a question, I am a 58 year old male.
I was born in to dysfunctional family with shame and guilt.
I was repetedly and unintentionally exposed to coal fire and leaded petrol and car exhaust fumes, leaded paint fumes. household chemicals etc etc.I had many severe asthma triggers and severe distress as I just could not breath. I believe that this was my first experience of trauma.
i could not concentrate at school and had learning and concentration problems , i have never learned to do joined up writing, punctuation and words like nouns, pronouns etc never made any sense. any thing other than basic maths was a complete mystery to me. My childhood was won long scattered haze as I would regularly phase out.
Through my father influence i got a job in the bank but regular concentration lapses and a total disinterest in the work caused me to regularly make mistakes in my work which made my superiors very frustrated. Eventually being depressed I left after some encouragement.
at another job as a book keeper I would sit at my desk paralysed and eventually I was sacked.
I was very interested in music which I put before all other things including work.
I married a beautiful girl and was happy for 7 years.
I read and struggled through the Book "You mean im not lazy stupid of crazy" it was like looking in a mirror I believed and still do to this day that I have Attention deficit disorder.
I have analysed my behaviour through a microscope and with obsessive research which after doing again and a gain slowly sinks in to my scattered and disorganised brain.
I now realise that I have an unusual memory for telephone numbers and family car registrations from early child hood untill the present day.
Is this Autism / or Attention deficit disorder ?
My father who recently died was also a bit unusual with a very narrow fields of interests and I saw some similarities in him with myself, never read a book other than facts and figures about sport.
After having two more experiences with trauma and what Ive indentified as PTSD
following my angry and irritable outburst associated with Seasonal affective disorder
and a misdiagnosis of Bipolar 2 disorder. I changed my diet, had a candida detox
cut out all grains sugar and dairy and supplemented my Dopamine with a natural anti depressant SAM-e and I feel like a completely new man.
In the past I have had the lead removed from me by Chelation.
and have had all my teeth out removing any effects of Amalgam fillings.
for the first time in my life I have much improved concentration skills, I can read with very little problem, and after twenty five years of depression.It has been noticed that I have had a personality, vocabulary and intelligence transplant.
so this is what being fairly normal feels like !
Howard Kelly
