Do you have to accept Autism diagnosis for child?

Hi Yve,

You aren't the first person to come to the forum who is not desperately seeking diagnosis. Occasionally a parent comes along who is angry or offended or distressed or alarmed at the idea of the diagnosis. So, please don't be angry, offended, distressed or alarmed at the idea of a diagnosis. Autism is probably not the condition that you think. I am happy that I have a diagnosis, autism has not stopped me having a very full and interesting life - I have been to university and now have three degrees (science and management) and I have been employed almost continuously for most of the last 30 years. Having autism need not be a disaster!

You can have the diagnosis but keep it very much confidential, it can be kept as confidential as any other diagnosis that you get from a doctor. You would not expect to tell everyone what your blood group is or that you have had an embarrassing condition. Neither should you avoid any diagnosis because it mike ebarrass you or because it makes you uncomfortable. People avoid going for diagnosis because of fear, embarrassment, shame etc but generally it is not good to avoid unwelcome or difficult news.

If your son gets a diagnosis then you can use this to gain extra understanding of how he thinks and behaves and you can help to make his life as smooth and joyful as everyone hopes for their child. 

The diagnosis will never change who your son is, it will only provide extra options for you and he to have a more successful life.

Hi Yve,

I think there are a couple of points worth bearing in mind.

Firstly, if they do tell you that they think your child is autistic, make sure that they give you a complete explanation of why they think so - don't be afraid to raise any and all questions that you need to so that you can understand their opinion, and challenge them if what they say doesn't match your experience as your child's parent.

Just getting a "label" is little help on its own, even if it is correct.  If your child does later require some assistance at school, it is much more important to identify the specific things they are struggling with than it is to have a label that assumes your child to be exactly the same as all the other people with the same label.

Secondly, an early diagnosis should always be amenable to revision as your child develops.  A second opinion isn't just something for the days immediately following diagnosis - at any point in your child's life you have every right to ask for someone to take another look.

Best wishes.

Hi

Thanks for your reply i appreciate it...

Every single site/ forum seems to be the opposite to me, they are struggling to get a test, or a diagnosis, the childs behaviour etc

I have the test booked, it was a quick process, but my concerns are as the child is only 3 and if Autistic, seems mild, and i do not require further help than speech (which child already receiving) at this stage.

So my debate is do i go for the test now, get the diagnosis/label which is life long, and i am reluctant to accept at this stage and age, or wait a year or two and see the childs natural development and see from there.

That is why my question was, can i get my child tested (but refuse the diagnosis - if it was given). If the answer was no, i would not test at this stage.

There seems to be nobody else in my position, no info on this etc....

Hi Yve

Ultimately you don't have to accept this, you can ask for a second opinion. You can pay no attention to the diagnosis and your child may not need to be aware of it for a good while yet.

I'm not sure what the problems with diagnosis might be though. Autism, itself, does not require medication and the only treatment is for the child to be dealt with according to the best practice parenting and teaching that would apply to any child. Autistic children are not tolerant of bad environments - inconsistent parenting, noisy disorganised home environments, schools where bullying is rife are all unbearable for a child with autism - an autistic child is likely to struggle in situations where a non-autistic child might survive but both can thrive in orderly environments where children are given time to be listened to and where the rules of the house or school are applied consistently and fairly.

Autism need not be a terrible thing but it can turn into a real problem if the child is not managed carefully.

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