Should I seek diagnosis?

Hi, I am the mother of a 13 year old girl who I strongly suspect as having Aspergers.  She is a very bright, practical and competent girl.   She is also doing reasonably well academically despite having problems with memory and processing (diagnosed from a dyslexia screening test).  She does put a lot of effort into her education as currently she sees it as the only way forward in the long run to 'escape' the current torture of going to school.  Long may this continue though it is increasily difficult to get her to maintain any optimism.  Socially all is not well and as she has moved to senior school  things have deteriorated. 

Having read around the subject and talked to a friend who is a psychologist but who doesn't specialise in children, Aspergers seems to 'fit' and explain most of the difficulties she/we are having.  I have even suggested it to her (after months of battles, meltdowns, misunderstandings and tears) and having read some documents about it she too thinks it might be the case. 

My question is what would the benefit be of a formal diagnosis?  My daughter is reluctant to seek help as she doesn't want a label or to be marked out as any different than she already feels. I am inclined to agree unless there is help attached to the diagnosis in terms of understanding/strategies to cope/anger management etc.  If it is just the assigning of a 'name' to her problems but nothing else then we may as well muddle on as we are rather than face months or years of appointments and fighting for no additional benefit.  We live in Nottinghamshire if that has any bearing on services.

Hope someone can clarify how it works, many thanks x

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    It may be difficult to offer diagnosis as a positive step to someone who may be resistant to change and have the thinking patterns of someone with ASD. There are some highly recommended books for children and you might do well to look at some of the books that have been discussed in these threads http://community.autism.org.uk/search/node/%22martian%20in%20the%20playground%22

    I found a book for adults very useful for me http://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Well-Spectrum-Challenges-High-Functioning/dp/1606236342 In hindsight, this has been important to me as it explains how you can have a positive attitude to Aspergers/Autism. This may be helpful for you and your daughter to develop action plans and to develop a positive attitude. 

  • Thank you so much for your reply. 

    Having spent months wondering which way to turn you have made me face up to the fact that I shouldn't really avoid staring the problem in the face and dealing with it however reluctant my daughter may be.  As her mother I need to do what is best for her rather than rationalise why I shouldn't act.  Having done my best, though perhaps not perfectly, in all other aspects of raising my children I can see my real problem is wishing all of this away.  But that is failing my daughter in the most cowardly way possible so thank you for nudging me, it is all I needed really.

    I may be back with more questions and worries somewhere down the line but until then you have done me a great service x

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi RabbiBlue

    There are benefits to diagnosis - I was diagnosed 2 years ago (age 56!) and it has helped me understand how I work and how I differ from other people. It can also be an issue as having a label can make the person react differently and it can also make others react differently. There is no right answer to this question but the vast majority of the adults on the forum like me are very positive about having a diagnosis. Having a diagnosis isn't an easy option but neither is not having a diagnosis.