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20 month old with early ASD signs, doctor suggests alternative reasons

JamesMS

Hello everyone,

I have a wonderful 20 month old son (my only child), who for the last few months has been showing signs of having ASD. He has no speech (though certainly makes lots of emotive noises), does not respond to his name, has limited eye contact at times, no pointing or waving, and likes running in circles. 

His mum and I have recently started having him assessed. She is being very positive, however for entirely personal (and probably selfish) reasons this has hit me hard and this evening I was speaking with my doctor to try and get some counselling.

When I described my sons behaviors, he claims to have seen similar situations that were not ASD but actually due to a lack of adequate parental contact, and with hard work can be reversable. Some parents might be offended by this, but if I'm honest I can't say it's entirely impossible. It's certainly true that due to work pressures I'm not able to spend as much time as I'd like with my son, and while his mother is able to stay at home with him, his first year and a half was somewhat unusual, uneventful and a bit isolated. Maybe we just haven't done enough to engage him?

Normally every time I speak with a health professional about my son they refuse to be drawn on the odds of his having ASD. This is the first time I've heard someone actually suggest an alternative reason. I'm wondering if anyone else here has ever had a similar suggestion? 

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I appreciate longman's concern but I am quite sanguine about my continued support of the forum and the people that turn up here looking for help.

    In this case I am aware that I have offended the OP by suggesting something that he does not want to hear. One of the problems of the forum is that I/we keep being too blunt for new (and old) posters of questions.

    My understanding now (with 20:20 hindsight) is that the OP has been traumatised by the suggestion that his son is autistic. He believed that this is a catasptrophe of the greatest magnitude and he is therefore in a state of great distress. I have made his anxiety even worse by suggesting an even worse catastrophe - that he may possibly also be affected

    A diagnosis for the regular members of the forum is no such catastrophe and we are fairly comfortable with this knowledge about ourselves.

    The problem at this point is how to help James through this crisis and help him work out whether or not his son could benefit from the label and additionally whether he could benefit from the insight that a diagnosis (one way or the other) might bring. He needs to be helped through the stages of denial, anger, grief and acceptance that can accompany the momentous shock that followed the suggestion that his son may have ASD.

    In hindsight, my post was too blunt and tactless and I think that Technophobes response may have come across as antagonistic and angry. This is not anyone's fault but we can look back and try and learn how to be more sensitive in trying to imagine the situation from the OP's standpoint.

    In summary, Technophobe did not make an error of fact but rather an error of tact for which he should not suffer any anguish as this is just part of the life of a person with autism. James is reacting very understandably given the widespread fear of what many people think that autism means, I hope he reads this and appreciates that we are trying to learn from these encounters and that he is very welcome to return to the forum.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I appreciate longman's concern but I am quite sanguine about my continued support of the forum and the people that turn up here looking for help.

    In this case I am aware that I have offended the OP by suggesting something that he does not want to hear. One of the problems of the forum is that I/we keep being too blunt for new (and old) posters of questions.

    My understanding now (with 20:20 hindsight) is that the OP has been traumatised by the suggestion that his son is autistic. He believed that this is a catasptrophe of the greatest magnitude and he is therefore in a state of great distress. I have made his anxiety even worse by suggesting an even worse catastrophe - that he may possibly also be affected

    A diagnosis for the regular members of the forum is no such catastrophe and we are fairly comfortable with this knowledge about ourselves.

    The problem at this point is how to help James through this crisis and help him work out whether or not his son could benefit from the label and additionally whether he could benefit from the insight that a diagnosis (one way or the other) might bring. He needs to be helped through the stages of denial, anger, grief and acceptance that can accompany the momentous shock that followed the suggestion that his son may have ASD.

    In hindsight, my post was too blunt and tactless and I think that Technophobes response may have come across as antagonistic and angry. This is not anyone's fault but we can look back and try and learn how to be more sensitive in trying to imagine the situation from the OP's standpoint.

    In summary, Technophobe did not make an error of fact but rather an error of tact for which he should not suffer any anguish as this is just part of the life of a person with autism. James is reacting very understandably given the widespread fear of what many people think that autism means, I hope he reads this and appreciates that we are trying to learn from these encounters and that he is very welcome to return to the forum.

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