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20 month old with early ASD signs, doctor suggests alternative reasons

JamesMS

Hello everyone,

I have a wonderful 20 month old son (my only child), who for the last few months has been showing signs of having ASD. He has no speech (though certainly makes lots of emotive noises), does not respond to his name, has limited eye contact at times, no pointing or waving, and likes running in circles. 

His mum and I have recently started having him assessed. She is being very positive, however for entirely personal (and probably selfish) reasons this has hit me hard and this evening I was speaking with my doctor to try and get some counselling.

When I described my sons behaviors, he claims to have seen similar situations that were not ASD but actually due to a lack of adequate parental contact, and with hard work can be reversable. Some parents might be offended by this, but if I'm honest I can't say it's entirely impossible. It's certainly true that due to work pressures I'm not able to spend as much time as I'd like with my son, and while his mother is able to stay at home with him, his first year and a half was somewhat unusual, uneventful and a bit isolated. Maybe we just haven't done enough to engage him?

Normally every time I speak with a health professional about my son they refuse to be drawn on the odds of his having ASD. This is the first time I've heard someone actually suggest an alternative reason. I'm wondering if anyone else here has ever had a similar suggestion? 

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi James,

    I am sorry that I have distressed you. It was not my intention to do so but I have done so so I am sorry.

    You came to the forum to ask whether your child's behaviour might be due to bad parenting or to autism. The general opinion seems to be that autism is a candidate and that you are not to blame for bad parenting. Neither would you be to blame if he had inherited autism from you. I do not blame my father who, in hindsight was autistic, from passing those traits to me.

    I have not tried to diagnose you with an illness, psychiatric or otherwise. Autism is a useful label that descibes a set of behaviours or traits that lead to problems with social interaction. Someone with autism is likely to encounter some difficulties in social situations - in school, in the family, at work or even on internet forums! Autistic people tend to be undiplomatic, obstinate, argumentative, excessively rational and slightly more susceptible to consequential mental health disorders like depression, anxiety or even in some cases PTSD (as a consequnce of bullying). Autistic children are normally bullied at school for their different behaviours and the bullying can have consequences if not nipped in the bud.

    I am not taking any meds or receiving any treatment for my autism, I have received treatment and help for depression and I reckon that some of my behaviour is anxiety driven and that I may even have suffered PTSD due to the conflicts that I have endured before I was diagnosed. Mental health issues should not terrify you, help and treatment can be found for many MH issues that can arise from autism but I repeat again that autism itself is not an illness. MH issues are an everyday reality and should not be stigmatised.

    Having a label of autism is not a terrible thing. It can head off issues before they get out of hand. The only treatment required if your son has this label is that he needs extra positive and understanding parenting and a good school that can work with his traits rather than trying to beat them out of him.

    I hope you can read this with the goodwill with which I have written it. I do not wish to upset or trample over your feelings which I sense are pretty raw at the moment.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi James,

    I am sorry that I have distressed you. It was not my intention to do so but I have done so so I am sorry.

    You came to the forum to ask whether your child's behaviour might be due to bad parenting or to autism. The general opinion seems to be that autism is a candidate and that you are not to blame for bad parenting. Neither would you be to blame if he had inherited autism from you. I do not blame my father who, in hindsight was autistic, from passing those traits to me.

    I have not tried to diagnose you with an illness, psychiatric or otherwise. Autism is a useful label that descibes a set of behaviours or traits that lead to problems with social interaction. Someone with autism is likely to encounter some difficulties in social situations - in school, in the family, at work or even on internet forums! Autistic people tend to be undiplomatic, obstinate, argumentative, excessively rational and slightly more susceptible to consequential mental health disorders like depression, anxiety or even in some cases PTSD (as a consequnce of bullying). Autistic children are normally bullied at school for their different behaviours and the bullying can have consequences if not nipped in the bud.

    I am not taking any meds or receiving any treatment for my autism, I have received treatment and help for depression and I reckon that some of my behaviour is anxiety driven and that I may even have suffered PTSD due to the conflicts that I have endured before I was diagnosed. Mental health issues should not terrify you, help and treatment can be found for many MH issues that can arise from autism but I repeat again that autism itself is not an illness. MH issues are an everyday reality and should not be stigmatised.

    Having a label of autism is not a terrible thing. It can head off issues before they get out of hand. The only treatment required if your son has this label is that he needs extra positive and understanding parenting and a good school that can work with his traits rather than trying to beat them out of him.

    I hope you can read this with the goodwill with which I have written it. I do not wish to upset or trample over your feelings which I sense are pretty raw at the moment.

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