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Rhughes

Hi,

My son is 2 and a half, he'll be 3 in June. He started nursery in September of 2015 in the nursery inside my college. For the first couple of months all the nursery staff ever said to me when I was picking him up was how made up they were with him and how proud I should be (which I am!), how pleasant and well behaved he is, how well he gets on with the other children especially the older ones as his room holds 18 months to 4 years, and how clever he is.

Then in December, it felt like it came out of nowhere, one day when I was picking him up one of the staff was sat on the floor playing with another child and told me they think he may have autism and that they would like my permission to apply for funding for him, they said they will get more toys that [removed by mod] would enjoy and get somebody in to work closlely with my son.

I was suprised and asked why they thought he had autism and two of the nursery staff began telling me that a little girl a year older than [removed by mod] was trying to play house with him and was stroking my son's face and my son told her to go away, and this is an indicator of him wanting his own space and an indicator of autism, another indicator they said was that he doesn't like stopping activities like painting or playing outside to go and wash his hands of have quiet time on the carpet, that he points out shapes around the room and that he's quite advanced for his age because he knows shapes like pentagon and oval, knows his alphabet, numbers up to 20, animals, colours...etc.

My son's half brother from his father's previous relationship was diagnosed with depression and autism when he was 8 so there is a genetic component, and so I went along with whatever they asked of me. They applied for funding and got the maximum amount, and have been mentioning education psychologists and somebody to come in and work with [removed by mod] one on one for 3 hours a day 3 times a week, bearing in mind he's only in nursey 3 days a week and two of those days he is only in for 3 hours.

i'm just wondering if anybody thinks this sounds like austism, and probably just looking for a little insight, this whole process hasn't been explained very well to me. Thanks for reading x

  • Hi

    I totally agree with the post above- sounds like you are doing a great job of educating your son.

    I have worked in nursery's and still work in early years and I must say I find it unusual that they have said this to you. if we worked with a child we had concerns over we would never say "we think he has autism" 

    The things that you have described sound like very normal behaviour to me to be honest. Telling a child to "go away" bless him! if someone was stoking my face whilst I was trying to do something I would say the same! And not wanting to wash his hands- he's probably just engrossed in his painting and wanting to carry on!! the nursery should understand that! 

    My cousins child also knew all shapes, numbers etc at a very young age- she's very bright.. and it sounds like your son is too.


    Obviously I'm not saying your son has/hasn't got autism.. I would just say to be very cautious and maybe get some advice from somewhere. Have you asked the nursery who their SENCO is? can you talk to them? be

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    You really shouldn't blame yourself for teaching him the wrong words unless "go away" is a euphemism for something much blunter! It seems to me that you are being a very good mother and teaching him lots of useful stuff.

    Autism and Aspergers are hard to diagnose in some people but it can be very clear in others. I don't really see, from your description, that he has a "problem". He may just stand out as "different" to the others at nursery in the eyes of the nursery staff.

    There are syndromes that describe some extremely intelligent autistic-like individuals. I wonder if they are trying to provide special assistance to help him make the most of his exceptional talents? See

    blogs.scientificamerican.com/.../

  • Hi Rhughes,

    Welcome to the Community! Smile I hope you find it a helpful place to talk to others and share your experiences. I've removed your son's name from your post to protect his privacy.

    Sofie Mod

  • Hi, thanks for that link I will defintely have my partner do it.

    The things I listed in my original post are the only things the nursery staff told me when I asked why they think he may have autism.

    But I can link them to things i've taught him. For instance, we take a long bus ride and a train into town and back almost everyday and to keep him from being bored I started pointing out shapes in everyday things like houses, stickers and posters on the train and bus, and he seems to have carried it on everywhere he goes. I think maybe me telling him good boy and praising him when he pointed out a shape has made him associate pointing them out as a good thing and so he does it all the time. From when he was really young when going up the stairs we'd count them and when he started talking he knew how to count to 10 really quickly, and then 15 and 20.

    We got a puppy and when she was playing too rough or annoying him I told him to tell her to go away, and it was only after this he told the little girl to go away (so this is completely my fault for teaching him the wrong choice of words)

    I've tried explaining this to the nursery staff but they seem adamant he may have autism, but they are trained to recognise it so I have agreed with everything they have said but I just cant see anything unusual in his behaviours at home. 

    Some of my family members when I told them said they don't think he does have it and maybe having an educational psychologist working with him, and the person they want to work with him 3 hours a day 3 times a week might put too much pressure on him. I personally don't see how it will because I don't know how they'll be working with him. 

    The week that they first mentioned it to me I made a doctors appointment and our doctor just said to me he's way too young to be able to diagnose and that he's still developing his personality and that it's hard enough trying to diagnose adults nevermind two year olds. So i'm just confused and stressed out about it all. 

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    There is not enough information in your post to give much of an opinion. Autism is a possibility but not liking another child stroking your face really isn't much to go on. Intelligence isn't an indicator of autism, it just indicates intelligence! If he had a bunch of other symptoms and he had a special interest in geometry then it would fit but it could also fit with a non autistic child.

    Have they had him assessed and diagnosed by an expert? Or, have they just applied for funding on their own assessment?

    If the half brother has autism and your son is suspcted then it would make sense to check your partner. There is a free online test http://aspergerstest.net/aq-test/ which would give some more weight to the idea that your son is affected.