I have 3 children, a 5 year old boy, a 3 year old – Oliver, and a 9 month old girl.
Little Oliver is a lovely little boy, he has speech, language, communication and social delay and is 39 months old. We fist noticed a problem with Ollie when he was just over 2 and he didn’t really speak much and sometimes didn’t give great eye contact. We had experienced this with our eldest child who didn’t start to talk at all until he was at least 2 and a half (he is amazing now – no chance he is on the spectrum).
We left things a little later with Oliver to get the ball moving in terms of seeking out assistance due to our past experiences with our eldest son. However, further on and we haven’t made major progress with Oliver. Following on from his lack of understanding and communication, we had him referred to a paediatrician and S&L. the therapist tried a few exercises with him, such as asking him to pick up the horse/cow/sheep and put it in the farmers truck – he didn’t engage with her but she did notice his eyes would move towards the object she had mentioned – that was our only appointment so far – he was referred last May and we have had 1 appt which was in august (frustrating). When we met with the paediatrican we explained the following:
Ollie doesn’t talk or repeat any words we say, he doesn’t engage in activities ld by us, he could do animal noises, loved books and jigsaws, was very affectionate and came for cuddles when he wanted one, or let us cuddle him when we wanted one. At that time the paediatrician said that he didn’t believe that Oliver was autistic based on what he had seen and heard, but said it would be monitored.
I have done a huge amount of research into autism to look into the traits and potential ‘red flag’ indicators (hate that terminology) and have noted the following:
Oliver is fine with new textures.
He gives much better eye contact lately, particularly when playing stimulating games with bubbles, or something which has an anticipation element. He will sometimes avoid it completely though.
He gives much better eye contact in general in every day life
He will now respond to his name 60-70% of the time (never used to at all)
He will follow a finger point (never used to
Is fine with routine changes
Does not play repetitive games
Does sometimes go into his ‘own world’
Is not fixated on any particular objects (although bites the wheels off every toy car he sees).
He does however love playing with noisy toys.
He can recognise all letters of the alphabet and can also say short words he sees such as no, go, see (although he recognises these more as pictures than anything else
He can identify all letters of the alphabet
Doesn’t call us mummy or daddy
Will lead us to what he wants – although has recently started asking for biscuits or water (want biscuit, want cookie, want water) – but this is still sometimes sporadic.
He will use his finger to point to something he wants.
Makes whining noises a lot, particularly when happy, screams sometimes when he doesn’t get his own way
Can have a proper melt down – usually when my wife leaves the house or he can’t go in the bedroom if my wife has a sleep in – will do it if I leave the house too. However, he is happy to say goodbye and leave the house himself with one of us (leaving the other inside) without a tantrum. His meltdowns are often over as quickly as they
He doesn’t really self stimulate although will sometimes place objects on his face.
Will generally eat all kinds of food, but prefers dry food – will try anything
Doesn’t really interact with other children - but will play chase with his brother
Likes building towers and knocking them down
Will usually wave and say hiya/bye bye at appropriate times
Sleeps absolutely fine]
Loves swimming/bathtime/playing in water
Loves rough play and gymnastics type play.
Now repeats a lot of tv adverts, stories we read. Does sometimes use the phrases he has learned in appropriate situations
The main thing we are concerned about is the obvious lack of communication and social interaction and eye contact. The problem in the house at the moment is our eldest son is the most lovely person you’ll ever meet, but he just won’t shut up, he talks non-stop from morning til bed time and practically demands full attention of you, we do try and give Oliver all of the attention he needs, b ut with our other son and our 9 month old it is very difficult.
Oliver has made some progress lately, particularly over the last few weeks. Myself and my wife stayed out one night and my mum and dad slept over to mind the kids. Oliver walked into the bedroom the next morning and said ‘where’s my daddy gone’. When I found out I was amazed, had had never called me daddy let alone ask where is was. However, as time went on I started to question this, thinking my mum had mis-heard some babbling. However, on Christmas day the boys were bought a scalextric, Oliver took one of the cars to play with it but I had to take it off him as they can be easily broken. I took it off him and explained why and then hid it. He then looked around the house for this car and then said ‘where’s my car’ – this time I heard it with my own ears and I was so amazed and happy at the same time – my mum said ‘see, I told you’ – it was just amazing. Then when my wife was getting him ready to go out, she was about to put his shoes on when he said ‘where’s my socks’ as he didn’t have any socks on, he’s also said ‘want a biscuit/cookie/water’ a few times too – he hasn’t done this often but it showed me that it is in there. Yesterday I took him to McDonalds, when he got his meal he gave a huge smile and said ‘I’m feeling happy’ – it was so difficult to hold back the tears there.
He also took my wife up to his bedroom and pointed at the toy cupboard, she didn’t know what he wanted and he then said ‘pirate ship’ which she gave him and he then had a big smile.
We have made some amazing progress with him, but the progress seems so slow. We are both accepting that he probably falls on the spectrum somewhere, but are just waiting:
We currently have meetings scheduled with the nursery SENCO, portage are coming out to see us, early interventions workers, S&L therapist and the paediatrician’s registrar all in the next 5 weeks or so.
I have been an emotional mess lately, it’s just one big rollercoaster, I love my boy with all my heart and am devastated that he could have autism.
I’d be grateful for any advice anyone can possibly give?
