Judging by things I've read on the subject (of AS/ASD), it is common, perhaps even typical, for people to have difficulty with empathy, and (by my logic) to be rather emotionless. I imagine the stereotypical view of people with AS/ASD to be one of a Mr Spock type, cold, ultra-logical character.
I have difficulty with this idea. I actually hope it is false. I have always felt more emotional than what I imagine to be average. I cry very easily. I am deeply moved by tragedy and by beauty. I am nearly 56 and I haven't changed in this respect as far back as I can remember. When I was 2 or 3, I would always cry at the song 'Oh my darling Clementine' (I heard it quite often as one of the characters on Deputy Dawg used to sing it - one of my favourite cartoons when I lived in America until age 3). What I found so tragic was the line: '...now she's lost and gone forever...'. I remember thinking about the meaning of those words and the FEELING of the meaning of forever opening up. Forever. For Ever. Another song that made me feel unbearably sad at around the same age was Molly Malone, though I can't remember in what context I heard it.
These are sad songs, they're meant to be sad. Now that I am seeking a diagnosis (I believe that I have AS for a large number of reasons), I am wondering whether my acute emotional sensitivity (this is actually an excellent way of describing what I mean) is grossly atypical to the point of being contra-indicatory? Shouldn't a person with AS feel nothing at such sentimental stuff?
I am and always have been very sentimental. But I have a feeling I may not show this, and that anybody other than the very few people who know me really well, might find me saying this about myself surprising. What I do show readily, emotion-wise, is anger. Anyone who knows me at all will not be surprised at this. I find it hard to conceal my anger at injustice and wrongness in general. I don't act with any violence, but I do speak with anger. But I never cry in public (I devoted many years, at school, to perfecting the art of appearing unmoved when inside, I was on the verge of bursting into tears).
I consider myself to be extremely empathic. I feel the anguish of children in war zones, or refugees fleeing over the Mediterranean and losing partnmers or parents or children on the journey. I feel terribly sad at the suffering of animals in zoos or slaughterhouses, or at the hands of anybody cruel. I hate the destruction of nature and beauty, both of which are - and always have been - very important to me. I feel rage about wildernesses being ruined, at the general short-sightedness and lack of vision of those in control of what happens on this Earth.
I'm in danger of losing the thread here, so I'll wind this up. What I'm wondering about is whether anybody recognises anything in what I've said, or whether people think what I've said indicates neuro-typical rather than AS traits? In short, are we 'supposed' to be unemotional?