Need some help and guidance with NOT being diagnosed with Autism.

To the original poster-you are not alone.  I too am dealing with a similar issue.  My son is 10 yrs old and his school is trying to push this diagnosis on him along with what they feel is a sensory processing disorder.  Their reasons, first off, are absurd not to mention that a school can now place a medical diagnosis on kids, interesting.  When it comes to behavior we as parents know our own kids better than any doctor or school psychologist or teacher.  My son's teacher has had him for 5 months, I've had him for almost 11 years but to them that doesn't matter one bit.   Try finding something online about a parent disagreeing with an autism diagnosis and you'll hear nothing but crickets.  Almost every article is about parents pushing to get an ASD disgnosis....this alone is disturbing.  The parent is upset the kid isn't hitting their milestones like the other kids, they're not acting like their peers, they're not being cookie cutter like everyone else.  Granted there are kids who do have autism, it does exist, but there's so many that don't have it that are misdiagnosed.  As adults would we want our GP to diagnose us with an illness that we don't have and go through specific types of therapy?  General practicioners get sued for malpractice for these kinds of things.  It's an observational diagnosis, our doctor's eyes see just the same as our eyes do.

No eye contact alone doesn't mean any disorder is present, not to mention why does it have to be considered a disorder.  Children are no longer allowed to be bored or shy, they are now considered to have the disability of autism.  To understand the diagnosis you have to also understand the method that is used.  You have to understand the DSM and the CARS2 tests, among others, that are used.  The CARS2 tests is one of the most "rigged" of all the tests, not in the literal sense of course.  It consists o f 15 different types of criteria, the lowest score you can get is a 1 meaning "normal" BUT 15 criteria and a 1 for each means you'd score a 15, if you look at the legend they use, a 15 still falls under mild autism....which means we'd ALL be diagnosed with autism under this test, you can't win with it even if you consider yourself to not have autism, even if your results of a 1 for each mean normal functioning, I brought this up with the psychologist and I got a, "umm uhh gee I don't have an answer for that".  Most parents just go with it, it's the parents who are usually the ones to bring it to the attention of a dr or school, not the other way around especially when it comes to a school.  

Sometimes it depends on what kind of teacher they have. My son, according to the school, has the strangest form of autism that comes and then disappears.  According to them he had it in kindgergarten but didn't have it in 1st grade, then had it in 2nd grade just a slight but then a little in 3rd now they claim in 4th grade he has it.....Both johns hopkins and yale both agree that autism is a consistent disorder that never goes away, things can cause it to flare but all symptoms do not just disappear.  If the teacher is annoyed by their behavior he or she can turn around and bring it up and ask for an evaluation to make them stop said behavior because they just may simply be unable to handle it...in other words what the kid is doing is annoying to them, same for some parents, it's easier to just place a name on it and throw them under the bus to therapy than to actually parent the kid.  This being said, again, there are kids who do have ASD and legitimately need the help.

The biggest issue in placing that label on a chid is that it never goes away, they are stuck with it for the rest of their life, theyw ill be a child with it and then become a spouse with it etc.  all because a piece of paper that they look at says it's a possibility they have it.  If there are any issues with not responding to one's name, you must first rule out any medical problems with an ENT, is the child having problems hearing, do they have fluid in the middle ear.  There are many symptoms on the DSM that can have a differential diagnonsis of fatigue, sleep apnea, vitamin deficiency, etc.  It's important to make sure a true medical condition doesn't exist before running to autism not just for the sake of common sense but to make sure they do not have a problem in those areas that do not get addressed because autism is assumed.  A child who could greatly benefit from tubes in the ears could wind up with ear problems progressing all because mom doesn't like that she or he doesn't always look at them and they assume autism must be the reason.  

Shyness or lack of being social isn't always autism as well.  The inabiility to focus can also be traced back to lack of sleep, the average person doesn't know if they have sleep apnea or snoring arousals only someone who observes them sleeping and a sleep study at a facility can prove this, the latter things which can lead to a problem focusing, problems concentrating, etc.  This has to be ruled out.  Obstructive upper airway syndrome can also be another issue that can give someone 4 hrs of sleep when they think they're getting 8, and they will have no memory of it.  In essence everything has to be considered.

The DSM that they all use in order to diagnose is a very tricky list.  Prior to 1994 in order to have autism you only had to have 2 symptoms-low IQ and being withdrawn.  Then they came up with a list 7 pages long of every symptoms under the sun, combine this with the CARS2 and you have the perfect storm to diagnose almost anyone with ASD, the DSM is very good at analyzing and nitpicking every behavior just short of how you wipe yourself after going to the bathroom.  You only have to have what they perceive as 6 symptoms out of a billion to BAM have autism.  Is overdiagnosing going on?  A resounding yes.  Not every kids develops at the same rate as others, some kids talk later, walk later, potty train later, are more social or less social than others, etc. it doesn't always mean a disorder, everyone is unique, expecting children to be just like everyone else is unrealistic.  I'm talking the difference between spinning in a circle for an hour without the ability to stop and a kid who simply daydreams a lot in class, big difference, one may have autism, the other might just be bored.....but wait, you're not allowed to even be bored any longer, that too is a disorder.  How would we feel as adults if our boss at work said he wanted to do a psychological evaluation on you because he doesn't like the wway you move your legs when you walk or that he doesn't like the pitch of your voice that you sound to nasal, or that he doesn't like that you don't talk often enough to your co-workers or how you talk to your co-workers.  If a manager forced you to get a psyche evaluation based on the way someone walks he could be looking at some kind of lawsuit, but yet we do it to our kids.  We tell them bullying isn't good, yet it's ok if the teacchers do it to them.  If a peer told one of our kids they didn't like the way they walk, talk or act or that they act weird we'd call that bullying or being rude, but if an adult IEP team does it it's considered an evaluation-it sounds prettier, just ponder that for a moment.

I never wanted an evaluation done on my son but I figured go ahead let them do it, I knew what they were leading to and they wouldn't let up if it wasn't done, almost to the point of harassment.  Now since I disagree with the IEP I can have a due process hearing, with an attorney.  All because they don't like his handwriting which is what started this by the teacher, I can't read my doctor's handwriting but I don't feel he has autism, but if he were 40 yrs younger he'd be told he has it.

Don't stop fighting for your child, only YOU know your child's behavior, no one else.  Remember, again, they are all going by a generic national list, the DSM, which could paint everyone including our pets as having autism.  Don't back down to anyone, don't label them if you don't feel they have it.  For me my only recourse is to homeschool if I cannot afford an attorney, I'm getting very close to doinf this.  This so called epidemic is out of hand, take back your child and don't let anyone else place an observational diagnosis on them, as a parent you are also fully qualified to observe just as they are.  By someone telling you that you are wrong is not considering the parents' opinion, again remember most cases of autism are brought forth by concerns of the parent, if you haven't had any concerns then tell them to go pound salt, if you intend on keeping them in school during this be prepared to get an attorney as they can force you into a hearing, whole thing is ridiculous.  Don't let others make you feel bad by not wanting to place a label on your kid, it's considered a medical disability, it doesn't mean you have something against people with autism it means you don't want to have a diagnosis made without sufficient evidence of said illness or disability.  Stay strong and fight for your kid, don't throw them under the bus in haste, the worst thing we can do as parents is to over analyze every move they make, not eveything they do always means a disorder or something sinister.

To the original poster-you are not alone.  I too am dealing with a similar issue.  My son is 10 yrs old and his school is trying to push this diagnosis on him along with what they feel is a sensory processing disorder.  Their reasons, first off, are absurd not to mention that a school can now place a medical diagnosis on kids, interesting.  When it comes to behavior we as parents know our own kids better than any doctor or school psychologist or teacher.  My son's teacher has had him for 5 months, I've had him for almost 11 years but to them that doesn't matter one bit.   Try finding something online about a parent disagreeing with an autism diagnosis and you'll hear nothing but crickets.  Almost every article is about parents pushing to get an ASD disgnosis....this alone is disturbing.  The parent is upset the kid isn't hitting their milestones like the other kids, they're not acting like their peers, they're not being cookie cutter like everyone else.  Granted there are kids who do have autism, it does exist, but there's so many that don't have it that are misdiagnosed.  As adults would we want our GP to diagnose us with an illness that we don't have and go through specific types of therapy?  General practicioners get sued for malpractice for these kinds of things.  It's an observational diagnosis, our doctor's eyes see just the same as our eyes do.

No eye contact alone doesn't mean any disorder is present, not to mention why does it have to be considered a disorder.  Children are no longer allowed to be bored or shy, they are now considered to have the disability of autism.  To understand the diagnosis you have to also understand the method that is used.  You have to understand the DSM and the CARS2 tests, among others, that are used.  The CARS2 tests is one of the most "rigged" of all the tests, not in the literal sense of course.  It consists o f 15 different types of criteria, the lowest score you can get is a 1 meaning "normal" BUT 15 criteria and a 1 for each means you'd score a 15, if you look at the legend they use, a 15 still falls under mild autism....which means we'd ALL be diagnosed with autism under this test, you can't win with it even if you consider yourself to not have autism, even if your results of a 1 for each mean normal functioning, I brought this up with the psychologist and I got a, "umm uhh gee I don't have an answer for that".  Most parents just go with it, it's the parents who are usually the ones to bring it to the attention of a dr or school, not the other way around especially when it comes to a school.  

Sometimes it depends on what kind of teacher they have. My son, according to the school, has the strangest form of autism that comes and then disappears.  According to them he had it in kindgergarten but didn't have it in 1st grade, then had it in 2nd grade just a slight but then a little in 3rd now they claim in 4th grade he has it.....Both johns hopkins and yale both agree that autism is a consistent disorder that never goes away, things can cause it to flare but all symptoms do not just disappear.  If the teacher is annoyed by their behavior he or she can turn around and bring it up and ask for an evaluation to make them stop said behavior because they just may simply be unable to handle it...in other words what the kid is doing is annoying to them, same for some parents, it's easier to just place a name on it and throw them under the bus to therapy than to actually parent the kid.  This being said, again, there are kids who do have ASD and legitimately need the help.

The biggest issue in placing that label on a chid is that it never goes away, they are stuck with it for the rest of their life, theyw ill be a child with it and then become a spouse with it etc.  all because a piece of paper that they look at says it's a possibility they have it.  If there are any issues with not responding to one's name, you must first rule out any medical problems with an ENT, is the child having problems hearing, do they have fluid in the middle ear.  There are many symptoms on the DSM that can have a differential diagnonsis of fatigue, sleep apnea, vitamin deficiency, etc.  It's important to make sure a true medical condition doesn't exist before running to autism not just for the sake of common sense but to make sure they do not have a problem in those areas that do not get addressed because autism is assumed.  A child who could greatly benefit from tubes in the ears could wind up with ear problems progressing all because mom doesn't like that she or he doesn't always look at them and they assume autism must be the reason.  

Shyness or lack of being social isn't always autism as well.  The inabiility to focus can also be traced back to lack of sleep, the average person doesn't know if they have sleep apnea or snoring arousals only someone who observes them sleeping and a sleep study at a facility can prove this, the latter things which can lead to a problem focusing, problems concentrating, etc.  This has to be ruled out.  Obstructive upper airway syndrome can also be another issue that can give someone 4 hrs of sleep when they think they're getting 8, and they will have no memory of it.  In essence everything has to be considered.

The DSM that they all use in order to diagnose is a very tricky list.  Prior to 1994 in order to have autism you only had to have 2 symptoms-low IQ and being withdrawn.  Then they came up with a list 7 pages long of every symptoms under the sun, combine this with the CARS2 and you have the perfect storm to diagnose almost anyone with ASD, the DSM is very good at analyzing and nitpicking every behavior just short of how you wipe yourself after going to the bathroom.  You only have to have what they perceive as 6 symptoms out of a billion to BAM have autism.  Is overdiagnosing going on?  A resounding yes.  Not every kids develops at the same rate as others, some kids talk later, walk later, potty train later, are more social or less social than others, etc. it doesn't always mean a disorder, everyone is unique, expecting children to be just like everyone else is unrealistic.  I'm talking the difference between spinning in a circle for an hour without the ability to stop and a kid who simply daydreams a lot in class, big difference, one may have autism, the other might just be bored.....but wait, you're not allowed to even be bored any longer, that too is a disorder.  How would we feel as adults if our boss at work said he wanted to do a psychological evaluation on you because he doesn't like the wway you move your legs when you walk or that he doesn't like the pitch of your voice that you sound to nasal, or that he doesn't like that you don't talk often enough to your co-workers or how you talk to your co-workers.  If a manager forced you to get a psyche evaluation based on the way someone walks he could be looking at some kind of lawsuit, but yet we do it to our kids.  We tell them bullying isn't good, yet it's ok if the teacchers do it to them.  If a peer told one of our kids they didn't like the way they walk, talk or act or that they act weird we'd call that bullying or being rude, but if an adult IEP team does it it's considered an evaluation-it sounds prettier, just ponder that for a moment.

I never wanted an evaluation done on my son but I figured go ahead let them do it, I knew what they were leading to and they wouldn't let up if it wasn't done, almost to the point of harassment.  Now since I disagree with the IEP I can have a due process hearing, with an attorney.  All because they don't like his handwriting which is what started this by the teacher, I can't read my doctor's handwriting but I don't feel he has autism, but if he were 40 yrs younger he'd be told he has it.

Don't stop fighting for your child, only YOU know your child's behavior, no one else.  Remember, again, they are all going by a generic national list, the DSM, which could paint everyone including our pets as having autism.  Don't back down to anyone, don't label them if you don't feel they have it.  For me my only recourse is to homeschool if I cannot afford an attorney, I'm getting very close to doinf this.  This so called epidemic is out of hand, take back your child and don't let anyone else place an observational diagnosis on them, as a parent you are also fully qualified to observe just as they are.  By someone telling you that you are wrong is not considering the parents' opinion, again remember most cases of autism are brought forth by concerns of the parent, if you haven't had any concerns then tell them to go pound salt, if you intend on keeping them in school during this be prepared to get an attorney as they can force you into a hearing, whole thing is ridiculous.  Don't let others make you feel bad by not wanting to place a label on your kid, it's considered a medical disability, it doesn't mean you have something against people with autism it means you don't want to have a diagnosis made without sufficient evidence of said illness or disability.  Stay strong and fight for your kid, don't throw them under the bus in haste, the worst thing we can do as parents is to over analyze every move they make, not eveything they do always means a disorder or something sinister.