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Lost after diagnosis

nm

I'm a 43yr old woman. I've suffered from depression and other associated mental health issues most of my life. I finally got assessed last week and was told that I was on the spectrum. 

I thought I would feel relieved. My whole life I've been confused by social interaction, and told by everyone that I just needed to try harder to be social. I was resigned to being socially awkward, and now I know, at least, that there's a reason behind it, and thought maybe I could cut myself a break now. I think, very probably, that it's been the cause of my depression too. I don't really know anything about Asperger's but it seems to make sense.

I don't really have much social interaction. I have a dog and I have to talk to other dog walkers every day but only briefly. I work at home and don't go out otherwise. I have two friends that I usually speak to on the phone once a week.  Otherwise I have friends online that I write to.

This last week though, I find myself analysing everything I'm saying. I realised that 80% of my conversation to my friends is me not understanding an aspect of human behaviour or them having to explain stuff to me. It's making me really self conscious. 

I haven't been able to bring myself to tell my family yet. They live far away, and I feel like they won't be supportive anyway. 

I thought getting diagnosed would help but right now I feel even more isolated. I don't want to talk to anyone. I really hoped this would make things better, but I don't know how to make that happen.

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  • Hi Zitami

    I hope you don't mind me asking, do you get DSA for something else or for ASD? 

    I'm surprised, and relieved, to discover how many people are in a similar situation to me. I know what you mean about the anticlimax. My assessment was very quick, but also quite unexpected - at my first two appointments they said they really didn't think I was on the spectrum, but suggested speaking to my mum (if I was willing) about what I was like as a baby and child, which is what led to the absolute diagnosis. That made it a bit of a shock, because from what they'd said before I was expecting them to confirm that it wasn't the reason for my life-long difficulties and that I'd be back to square one trying to find ways to cope, and reasons for why I couldn't. So on the one hand the diagnosis was a huge relief, but since then I've been in utter turmoil, and things haven't changed yet. Life is still just as difficult. 

    Here's hoping the way becomes clearer for us all!

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  • Hi Zitami

    I hope you don't mind me asking, do you get DSA for something else or for ASD? 

    I'm surprised, and relieved, to discover how many people are in a similar situation to me. I know what you mean about the anticlimax. My assessment was very quick, but also quite unexpected - at my first two appointments they said they really didn't think I was on the spectrum, but suggested speaking to my mum (if I was willing) about what I was like as a baby and child, which is what led to the absolute diagnosis. That made it a bit of a shock, because from what they'd said before I was expecting them to confirm that it wasn't the reason for my life-long difficulties and that I'd be back to square one trying to find ways to cope, and reasons for why I couldn't. So on the one hand the diagnosis was a huge relief, but since then I've been in utter turmoil, and things haven't changed yet. Life is still just as difficult. 

    Here's hoping the way becomes clearer for us all!

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