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Lost after diagnosis

nm

I'm a 43yr old woman. I've suffered from depression and other associated mental health issues most of my life. I finally got assessed last week and was told that I was on the spectrum. 

I thought I would feel relieved. My whole life I've been confused by social interaction, and told by everyone that I just needed to try harder to be social. I was resigned to being socially awkward, and now I know, at least, that there's a reason behind it, and thought maybe I could cut myself a break now. I think, very probably, that it's been the cause of my depression too. I don't really know anything about Asperger's but it seems to make sense.

I don't really have much social interaction. I have a dog and I have to talk to other dog walkers every day but only briefly. I work at home and don't go out otherwise. I have two friends that I usually speak to on the phone once a week.  Otherwise I have friends online that I write to.

This last week though, I find myself analysing everything I'm saying. I realised that 80% of my conversation to my friends is me not understanding an aspect of human behaviour or them having to explain stuff to me. It's making me really self conscious. 

I haven't been able to bring myself to tell my family yet. They live far away, and I feel like they won't be supportive anyway. 

I thought getting diagnosed would help but right now I feel even more isolated. I don't want to talk to anyone. I really hoped this would make things better, but I don't know how to make that happen.

Parents

  • The thing about OU is that you do build up the credits and can more easily take time out. And you do have good grounds for mitigating circumstances.

    If you were on a full time attending degree at a university the time pressure would be high, because deferring final year can be quite punitive, depending on what mitigating circumstances decisions are made.

    OU ought to be good on disability support, but then they don't have the level of physical presence of students with special needs, and their disability resources are spread across sites. You need to find out if the central disability support is able to respond (this arrangement seems to shift).

    I think deferral options are vital with autism. If you are studying full time you are at a significant disadvantage and expected to try to keep up the pace with able students. It is not something that can realistically be achieved at the normal rate of three to four years from A levels.

    I feel parents should be prepared to consider lengthening the timescale - there should be no shame in this.

    Although OU gives you more flexibility I think you have to permit yourself some "give".

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  • The thing about OU is that you do build up the credits and can more easily take time out. And you do have good grounds for mitigating circumstances.

    If you were on a full time attending degree at a university the time pressure would be high, because deferring final year can be quite punitive, depending on what mitigating circumstances decisions are made.

    OU ought to be good on disability support, but then they don't have the level of physical presence of students with special needs, and their disability resources are spread across sites. You need to find out if the central disability support is able to respond (this arrangement seems to shift).

    I think deferral options are vital with autism. If you are studying full time you are at a significant disadvantage and expected to try to keep up the pace with able students. It is not something that can realistically be achieved at the normal rate of three to four years from A levels.

    I feel parents should be prepared to consider lengthening the timescale - there should be no shame in this.

    Although OU gives you more flexibility I think you have to permit yourself some "give".

Children
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