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Lost after diagnosis

nm

I'm a 43yr old woman. I've suffered from depression and other associated mental health issues most of my life. I finally got assessed last week and was told that I was on the spectrum. 

I thought I would feel relieved. My whole life I've been confused by social interaction, and told by everyone that I just needed to try harder to be social. I was resigned to being socially awkward, and now I know, at least, that there's a reason behind it, and thought maybe I could cut myself a break now. I think, very probably, that it's been the cause of my depression too. I don't really know anything about Asperger's but it seems to make sense.

I don't really have much social interaction. I have a dog and I have to talk to other dog walkers every day but only briefly. I work at home and don't go out otherwise. I have two friends that I usually speak to on the phone once a week.  Otherwise I have friends online that I write to.

This last week though, I find myself analysing everything I'm saying. I realised that 80% of my conversation to my friends is me not understanding an aspect of human behaviour or them having to explain stuff to me. It's making me really self conscious. 

I haven't been able to bring myself to tell my family yet. They live far away, and I feel like they won't be supportive anyway. 

I thought getting diagnosed would help but right now I feel even more isolated. I don't want to talk to anyone. I really hoped this would make things better, but I don't know how to make that happen.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I suspect that people like nm and gojojo who are going through the trauma of change that a diagnosis brings might struggle to understand how autism can be a gift. Everyone, autistic or otherwise, has strengths and weaknesses. Autistic people often have strengths in being able to solve deep problems or being more numerate. We are often brutally honest but also kind. We also have weaknesses that can make our lives harder if we don't understand what is going on.

    There are ways to accept and tackle the condition and Coogy recommends some very good books that help people get to a more positive frame of mind about the condition. Somehow, you have to believe that the future is really brighter than it seems right now, it takes some trust and you have to "cut yourself a break" as nm puts it in the original post above.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I suspect that people like nm and gojojo who are going through the trauma of change that a diagnosis brings might struggle to understand how autism can be a gift. Everyone, autistic or otherwise, has strengths and weaknesses. Autistic people often have strengths in being able to solve deep problems or being more numerate. We are often brutally honest but also kind. We also have weaknesses that can make our lives harder if we don't understand what is going on.

    There are ways to accept and tackle the condition and Coogy recommends some very good books that help people get to a more positive frame of mind about the condition. Somehow, you have to believe that the future is really brighter than it seems right now, it takes some trust and you have to "cut yourself a break" as nm puts it in the original post above.

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