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Aspergers??? Or not?!

Jelly

I have a 9 year old son who I believe to have Aspergers or some kind of Autism. I have researched the symptoms of Aspergers A LOT and decided to book an appointment with the doctor. The doctor has seen myself and my son and although he is going to refer him for assessment he has basically told me that he doesn't think my son has Aspergers and not to hold my breath with them actually assessing him. He had a 5 min chat with my son  and didn't really present himself as confident in what questions to ask. he phoned me and said because my son made good eye contact with him and that he said he has some friends that he doesn't believe he has it.

my son doesn't have all of the symptoms of Aspergers and some he doesn't show all of the time and some he used to have but don't have anymore, but I would definitely say there is something there. He does have some friends and seems to play with them ok, but the other day two of his friends were being mean and running away from him but he still insisted he wanted to play with them. He used to have a major issue at bedtime where in he used to worry about not falling to sleep by a certain time, and he used to cry and get really upset at the thought of still being awake at a certain time. He doesn't do this any more though.  Here is a list of things that worry me. What do you think? 

-Issues with swearing, as in he worries about hearing swear words, thinks about them a lot, finds swear words in normal words ie Dictator, he'll focus on the first sound, saying its a swear word.
-Outbursts with brother/friends, will blow up, cry or shout when he's not happy with something, gets especially annoyed with anything his brother does, ie if he sits near him or says something he will bite very quickly.
-No confidence in trying new activities, doesn't like competitive sport, if he thinks he's going to lose he just won't try, sits out, prefers craft/games.
-Night time obsessions ie tuck blanket in, folds cloth in glasses case, has glasses opened out in his desk
-Tags & labels, zips, doesn't like the feeling of socks crumpled in his shoe & says they fidget, tags on the back or shirts we sometimes have to cut out.
-Plays by rules very black & white doesn't like to change the rules of a game, no variation.
Dominates play/rules with brother, takes over when they play, play has to be done by his ideas & will shut down brothers ideas.
-Computer mad, minecraft especially.
-Used to click knee, as in kick his leg out until it clicked.

-Wasn't imaginative as a toddler, didn't like small world toys, doesn't like dressing up, face paints.

-Notices small things, ie small changes or differences.
-Doesn't like talking on phone/carry on conversation, if grandparents ring & start a conversation he'll just say 'I'll get my mum' and pass the phone to me, not answering the callers questions.
-Never likes school plays, drama, says he's shy about people looking at him.
-Listening/concentrating at school teacher has said he loses concentration quicker.
-Having to understand School work, Questions what he needs to do & wont start work until he knows what he needs to do or if he's doing it right.
-Worrier 'what will happen?' About anything!! Ie questioned doctor about having tonsils out even though it wasn't going to happen.
-Notices if I add or miss words in book
-Questions what things mean when reading 
-is funny about some foods, if he has the same meal at his grandparents but it doesn't taste like what he has at home he won't eat it.
-Chatterbox
-Asks questions as if I know what he's thinking, will start talking about something without starting the conversation off properly, or as if it's half way through what he's thinking.


????

  • I think we spend a great deal of our time trying to understand NT's and what Classic Codger very aptly calls their "illogical, harmful and hypocritical business". 

    It is a shame that as a whole NT's do not routinely return the compliment and try to see things through our eyes; from our way of thinking.

    This is why bunching us together as 'disordered' is so much easier than regarding us as having a 'difference'.

    As a society we humans are encouraged to embrace and seek to understand 'difference'... but being described as 'disordered', no matter how well we function, the way is opened for us to be regarded in a completely different context... and a very narrow one at that.

    In my view I am nowhere near as impaired as many of the NT's that I know... because what they regard as impairment is different to my own interpretation.

    The 'triad of impairments' is at best narrow and at worst misleading... especially where female Aspie's are concerned.  

  • This so-called 'triad' is actually a separate issue that others have some insightful thoughts on. Hopefuly, the professionals are scanning these threads and picking up some useful information.

    By its' very nature, ASD is wide-band stuff with a common set of differences. I wouldn't call them impairments, especially after spending a little while observing NT people going about their illogical, harmful and hypocritical business. It's like trying to unscramble the pieces of two mixed up jigsaws, whilst looking at a picture of a third one.

    The question for me becomes, 'who is impaired, and how?'. After all, any 'current' societal opinion is only that which is held by the majority, and I wonder how the books would be written if AS people were the majority. I'm sure we'd have great pity for the poor, impaired NTs, once we'd decided that being NT is a 'condition' that is untreatable. Might be hard to get normal, AS people to understand the poor blighters though...

  • Hmm, Its very borderline. I think if there was a 'social impact', and he didn't have many friends/wasnt bothered with making friends. My girlfriend was a Autism Assesor, and you will only get it diagnosed if you have a strong case in the triad of impairments.

    Social and emotional - Difficulty with, Friendships, working as a team etc

    Language and communication - Difficulty with, Jokes/sarcasm, Literal interpretation etc

    Flexibility of thought - Love of routines, difficulty with empathy etc

    It sounds like he has a strong case in Flexibility of thought, but only you as a mother can decide if he fits this category.

    Hope this helps!

  • Thanks, and I hope I said something useful.

    As far as I can see, your concerns are well founded, and certainly everything you say about a failure to recognise his difficulties will indeed be highly detrimental to his well being.

    I do hope you get the support you need, your experience with your GP is sadly far too common, and it makes us angry. Parents and children are too often dismissed at stage one, so congrats on getting a referal in thr first instance! I'm only glad that your son has such a sensible Mum, just what the doctor failed to order...

  • Thank you for your reply! I do worry that I've read these things about Aspergers and now I'm noticing all these little traits in my son and assuming he's got it. My main concern is that now he's started a new school with new expectations and more work to do, that if he does have Aspergers he may struggle and if undiagnosed will not get the support he needs. 

    Like you say I will leave it to the professionals (hoping he will be assessed, as the doctor pretty much said a third of patients will be refused an assessment and it's likely my son will be) fingers crossed and thanks for your response.

  • The only thing you need from your GP is a referal. It's disheartening to think that an untrained GP can have an opinion at all - if they were that good, no-one would ever need a referal to any specialist whatsoever.

    These are the missing diagnostic tools, GPs can't be expected to be experts in anything, but they are expected to know when to treat and when to seek a specialist diagnosis. The trouble is that they don't often admit this. I would treat a GPs opinion as exactly what it is - relatively uninformed. I also have issues with GPs whose male ego gets in the way, they just have to be right, men!

    Speaking as a men, I think that you can ignore any 5 minute assessment, what the heck is 5 minutes all about? And, asking a potentialy AS child a stupid question like 'do you have any friends?' well I'm staggered. Does your son understand what the GP means by 'friend', does that tell the GP how your child relates to 'friends'? No, of course it doesn't. Ignore the ignorami!

    Keep your list, add to it as and when, and make sure they have both the list AND examples of the things you've noticed. Cutting out labels is a good example, for instance.

    A word of warning. Your list contains a commonly held series of things that are said about AS people, that is to say that you have read these things and ascribed them to your son. I have major issues with internet diagnoses - the number of people who diagnose themselves seriously ill from the internet is staggering and actually causes much unnecessary work for GPs these days. This might explain your GP's reaction to your request, and despite what I've said above, I can't say that your particular GP isn't 'clued up' on AS. However, you have your referal so let the professionals observe and diagnose, they might just as easily have alternative things to say.

    If your son is AS, they will know. They'll also know if he isn't.

    You don't say that any of your son's issues are causing a problem as such, it sounds like you've got a handle on him, as any good parent should, so keep the faith, and I hope everything turns out well for you all. Good luck!