Hi all,
Sorry, this IS going to be a 'seeking help' kind of post, so anyone who doesn't want that shindig feel free to take your internet elsewhere. I'll add jokes in places though, promise.
Basically, I'm a 20-something fellow just out of university. Last year, when I was IN university, I fell in love with a Lithuanian exchange student, had a pleasant six months, then fell to bits when she left me for someone else. I developed IBS and everything, it was a very flatulent and heartbreaking experience. I tried everything I could to distract myself from her; Ignoring, Seeing other people, going for runs, convincing myself it wasn't the real thing, and lo and behold nothing worked and I remained in contact with her as a friend for the rest of Uni. This lead to a kind of on/off thing like out of the Office or some carry on.
So anyway, this partner of mine is suddenly introduced by her friend to this new young man, and they start having Casual Sex. I put that bit in caps because it's kind of a big deal to me and I don't understand it as much as I'd like. Quite a lot of my friends have Casual Sex, I myself have Casual Sex from time to time, but what does upset and confuse me a little is when they all have Casual Sex with one another. For example, one friend of mine has slept with at least three of my other friends, these friends have in turn shafted one another, and the result is a lot of petty jealousy when everyone realises who slept with who. It's like the London Underground. You need a bloody map.
This new fella my ex was introduced to had slept with the friend who got them together, several close associates within our group, and is known for being a bit of an obnoxious player. He's also interested in the same things as me, and he broadly speaking has a similar personality to how I do, minus of course the being so overtly on the spectrum. My ex has told him we were together formerly, and so he's taken it into his head to dislike me from 'go'. Basically, I see him gesturing at me from across the room with a big smile, then her punching him, and it's usually when I'm dancing wrong or standing apart from the crowd or generally not being involved the way he is. I'm being referred to as a 'sweet' guy or 'bless, what's he like' which is basically a social code-word for 'this person is far too weird for me to date, how embarrassed I am to have been with him. He also wears a lot of open-neck tops, so I can see all the bite-marks she gives him.
While quite a bit of this might be upset, paranoid scrabbling, I'm convinced that at least a part of it is true. I do feel like I'm being made out to be the weird person she used to see. I am confused as to how a little community like ours can have so many internal hook-ups and still keep going. I do still love my ex, despite all the crap that's gone down, but I wish there was a way of feeling less marginalised.
If this sounds familiar, or for whatever reason you feel like, feel free to respond.
