Son has refused the assessment

Well, the CPN and woman from the autism team came in the front door and our son escaped out the back!  He had initially agreed to the assessment but, he says, only because he felt that the psychiatrist was too insistant and he felt coerced.  And now he's saying he doesn't want it, he won't see them and it's his decision.  The trouble is, we have to live with the consequences of his decision too.  He's mucky, withdrawn and spends all day in ritualistic behaviours to avoid "negative energy" or else on his computer.  He also quite frequently blanks us and rarely goes out.  No friends and no contacts over the phone or internet either.  There's a real atmosphere in our home and, even if he insists that what he's doing is more likely to make him happy, I think he is making himself, and the rest of us, very miserable indeed.

Of course, we are running into issues around mental capacity here.  The psychiatrist insists that he has capacity and we, of course, would always want to promote autonomy and independence where possible.  But to us it seems that he is in the grip of delusional beliefs and that, without the effects of possible autism plus associated mental illness through years of non recognition of this, he certainly wouldn't be choosing to spend his life like this!  What on earth can we do?  He seems to be using his capacity to ruin his life and ours too!   

Parents
  • Is there a parents' group or a NAS local group for parents near you? The pink and red map on the Home and Community pages of the NAS website should help you find out (though they tend to be londoncentric in that London services come up top of a listand you have to scroll down a bit to find your area).

    It seems to me you need a local supportive resource where you can get information and advice and chat socially with other parents about how to resolve issues.

    While you can do that to a certain extent through this forum, it has current themes up front, and previously well trodden ground is 'history' for which you have to search. A resource where you can meet other parents and exchange notes on strategies might help.

    If the NAS search facility doesn't come up with a local one, contact the nearest. They may know of a resource that hasn't made it into the NAS directory that is nearer you.

    The hygiene and personal care thing is widely discussed but seems to lack much attempt to address it in books. As I've indicated it is composed of two factors - central coherence and sensitivity to water, soaps, hair cutting etc. In the former case there isn't the same motivation to wash and take care of yourself or even eat, and if absorbed in something more interesting, many people on the spectrum seem to forget all about eating.

    It isn't just about choice - shower or bath, different textured towels, or type of shampoo. It isn't being faddish or fussy. It is about the sensations, which may be heightened way above what you can imagine if not affected.

Reply
  • Is there a parents' group or a NAS local group for parents near you? The pink and red map on the Home and Community pages of the NAS website should help you find out (though they tend to be londoncentric in that London services come up top of a listand you have to scroll down a bit to find your area).

    It seems to me you need a local supportive resource where you can get information and advice and chat socially with other parents about how to resolve issues.

    While you can do that to a certain extent through this forum, it has current themes up front, and previously well trodden ground is 'history' for which you have to search. A resource where you can meet other parents and exchange notes on strategies might help.

    If the NAS search facility doesn't come up with a local one, contact the nearest. They may know of a resource that hasn't made it into the NAS directory that is nearer you.

    The hygiene and personal care thing is widely discussed but seems to lack much attempt to address it in books. As I've indicated it is composed of two factors - central coherence and sensitivity to water, soaps, hair cutting etc. In the former case there isn't the same motivation to wash and take care of yourself or even eat, and if absorbed in something more interesting, many people on the spectrum seem to forget all about eating.

    It isn't just about choice - shower or bath, different textured towels, or type of shampoo. It isn't being faddish or fussy. It is about the sensations, which may be heightened way above what you can imagine if not affected.

Children
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