Son has refused the assessment

Well, the CPN and woman from the autism team came in the front door and our son escaped out the back!  He had initially agreed to the assessment but, he says, only because he felt that the psychiatrist was too insistant and he felt coerced.  And now he's saying he doesn't want it, he won't see them and it's his decision.  The trouble is, we have to live with the consequences of his decision too.  He's mucky, withdrawn and spends all day in ritualistic behaviours to avoid "negative energy" or else on his computer.  He also quite frequently blanks us and rarely goes out.  No friends and no contacts over the phone or internet either.  There's a real atmosphere in our home and, even if he insists that what he's doing is more likely to make him happy, I think he is making himself, and the rest of us, very miserable indeed.

Of course, we are running into issues around mental capacity here.  The psychiatrist insists that he has capacity and we, of course, would always want to promote autonomy and independence where possible.  But to us it seems that he is in the grip of delusional beliefs and that, without the effects of possible autism plus associated mental illness through years of non recognition of this, he certainly wouldn't be choosing to spend his life like this!  What on earth can we do?  He seems to be using his capacity to ruin his life and ours too!   

Parents
  • Do you have any better understanding of negative energy? Could it simply mean negative thoughts?

    One problem for people with autism is spiralling anxiety due to the effects of "negative reinforcement" - basically building up a sense of all the bad things happening.

    Because of lack of social referencing, people on the spectrum don't get the kind of feedback that would help resolve or dissipate anxieties. They tend to dwell on things and go over and over them. This need for analysis leads to a propensity for excessive analysis.

    It also leads to anticipation of the worst case scenarios - what if.... These accumulate and "negatively reinforce" each other, building up the anxiety - "spiralling anxiety".

    To him these negatives could be what he refers to as energy taking over his thoughts.

    There are ways round this. Writing things down gets them out of your head onto paper, where you know you can find them if you want to. But also writing things down helps to visualise what outcomes are likely, and which outcomes may never happen.

    It helps too to talk to someone who can help reduce the anxieties by resolving some of them - but it usually needs to be someone in your peer group who can find the explanations - and that's usually not easy - back to lack of social referencing again.

    Another solution is to try to interrupt the flow of negative thoughts - usually doing something that hurts enough to interrupt such thoughts, flicking fingers, flicking your ear, snapping a rubber band against the inside of your wrist - a relatively harmless sudden action distracts the mind. With practice that can be replaced with a stop word or phrase that breaks the train of thought.

    I'd mentioned on the previous thread, Luke Jackson's Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome. Page 92 his remedy is to write the negative thoughts on paper then throw the paper away. Also just writing it down until it shifts the anger.  Weird though the mix of adolescent ideas in this book, which might make parents look on it suspiciously, it seems relevant to that age group.

Reply
  • Do you have any better understanding of negative energy? Could it simply mean negative thoughts?

    One problem for people with autism is spiralling anxiety due to the effects of "negative reinforcement" - basically building up a sense of all the bad things happening.

    Because of lack of social referencing, people on the spectrum don't get the kind of feedback that would help resolve or dissipate anxieties. They tend to dwell on things and go over and over them. This need for analysis leads to a propensity for excessive analysis.

    It also leads to anticipation of the worst case scenarios - what if.... These accumulate and "negatively reinforce" each other, building up the anxiety - "spiralling anxiety".

    To him these negatives could be what he refers to as energy taking over his thoughts.

    There are ways round this. Writing things down gets them out of your head onto paper, where you know you can find them if you want to. But also writing things down helps to visualise what outcomes are likely, and which outcomes may never happen.

    It helps too to talk to someone who can help reduce the anxieties by resolving some of them - but it usually needs to be someone in your peer group who can find the explanations - and that's usually not easy - back to lack of social referencing again.

    Another solution is to try to interrupt the flow of negative thoughts - usually doing something that hurts enough to interrupt such thoughts, flicking fingers, flicking your ear, snapping a rubber band against the inside of your wrist - a relatively harmless sudden action distracts the mind. With practice that can be replaced with a stop word or phrase that breaks the train of thought.

    I'd mentioned on the previous thread, Luke Jackson's Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome. Page 92 his remedy is to write the negative thoughts on paper then throw the paper away. Also just writing it down until it shifts the anger.  Weird though the mix of adolescent ideas in this book, which might make parents look on it suspiciously, it seems relevant to that age group.

Children
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