Son has refused the assessment

Well, the CPN and woman from the autism team came in the front door and our son escaped out the back!  He had initially agreed to the assessment but, he says, only because he felt that the psychiatrist was too insistant and he felt coerced.  And now he's saying he doesn't want it, he won't see them and it's his decision.  The trouble is, we have to live with the consequences of his decision too.  He's mucky, withdrawn and spends all day in ritualistic behaviours to avoid "negative energy" or else on his computer.  He also quite frequently blanks us and rarely goes out.  No friends and no contacts over the phone or internet either.  There's a real atmosphere in our home and, even if he insists that what he's doing is more likely to make him happy, I think he is making himself, and the rest of us, very miserable indeed.

Of course, we are running into issues around mental capacity here.  The psychiatrist insists that he has capacity and we, of course, would always want to promote autonomy and independence where possible.  But to us it seems that he is in the grip of delusional beliefs and that, without the effects of possible autism plus associated mental illness through years of non recognition of this, he certainly wouldn't be choosing to spend his life like this!  What on earth can we do?  He seems to be using his capacity to ruin his life and ours too!   

Parents
  • Recalling an earlier thread, I'm still not sure why you feel the only solution is more complete strangers probing his mind.

    I'm reminded of something that occurred with a number of students over the years I was involved in supporting disabled students. Every now and then a student would not make contact with student services, even though we knew from the UCAS form that autism had been indicated in the disability code.Therefore other than UCAS, which is not deemed sufficient, we couldn't take account of disability.

    Invariably the students did so because they were fed up with being analysed and probed by strangers, as if they really had arrived from another planet, and would rather cope on their own, even if that left them disadvantagwed and without the support to which they were entitled. Despite explaining there would be hardly any such intervention in a university context, it was usually impossible to persuade them otherwise.

    It amazes me that science fiction confronts us with moral dilemmas about aliens coming to the planet being carted into laboratories for endless tests rather than trying to communicate in some more normal way, stirring feels we wouldn't like it. But that's what it is like to be a teenager growing up with autism - constant exposure to being a laboratory animal.

    I think you need to reflect on what it is you are trying to achieve, Because what you are describing is normal for lots of teenagers on the spectrum, and most parents are coping in other ways.

Reply
  • Recalling an earlier thread, I'm still not sure why you feel the only solution is more complete strangers probing his mind.

    I'm reminded of something that occurred with a number of students over the years I was involved in supporting disabled students. Every now and then a student would not make contact with student services, even though we knew from the UCAS form that autism had been indicated in the disability code.Therefore other than UCAS, which is not deemed sufficient, we couldn't take account of disability.

    Invariably the students did so because they were fed up with being analysed and probed by strangers, as if they really had arrived from another planet, and would rather cope on their own, even if that left them disadvantagwed and without the support to which they were entitled. Despite explaining there would be hardly any such intervention in a university context, it was usually impossible to persuade them otherwise.

    It amazes me that science fiction confronts us with moral dilemmas about aliens coming to the planet being carted into laboratories for endless tests rather than trying to communicate in some more normal way, stirring feels we wouldn't like it. But that's what it is like to be a teenager growing up with autism - constant exposure to being a laboratory animal.

    I think you need to reflect on what it is you are trying to achieve, Because what you are describing is normal for lots of teenagers on the spectrum, and most parents are coping in other ways.

Children
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