my child refuses to talk anymore

Hiya,

When I was about 15, my uncle died. It took a few days for the news to sink in and for two days I just felt numb, like thee was something heavy and cold sitting inside my chest. On the third day I burst into tears and was unable to go to school.

I was so scared of saying anything, I didn't talk to my cousins (the ones who'd just lost their dad), or anyone on that side of the family, and I refused to talk to anyone for a few days, I think I made it a whole month by only speaking four short sentences before I started talking properly again. Most of my 'talking' was done with my friend on paper while she tried to offer reassurance.

Honestly I don't know whats worse, the cold heavy feeling in your chest or being numb. It was like I was aware of everything around me but it never quite reached me, like I was detatched from the world.

Its hard, to grieve. I can see other people in mourning but it didn't make sense. On a daily basis I was always afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing and when you lose someone suddenly that fear increases. You don't know what to say because you also know nothing will make it better or make the feeling go away.

It took about a month of sitting down and hugging my mum every night and writing to my friend explaining what was going on in my head to finally accept that there wasn't anything I could do to fix it, only to try and carry on while remembering the person. The pain is still there, I realise now that it'll never fully go away. But I try hard to remember all the good times, when we used to 'race' down the road pushing my uncle along in his wheelchair while he encouraged us to go faster, or before he got sick when he used to pick us up and spin us around.

I hope you have luck finding help for your daughter, and I just want her to know shes not alone. What shes doing isn't wrong, but that there may be better ways of dealing with all the emotions she may be feeling. And most importantly, just be there for her.

I wish you the best of luck,

Katie.

Hiya,

When I was about 15, my uncle died. It took a few days for the news to sink in and for two days I just felt numb, like thee was something heavy and cold sitting inside my chest. On the third day I burst into tears and was unable to go to school.

I was so scared of saying anything, I didn't talk to my cousins (the ones who'd just lost their dad), or anyone on that side of the family, and I refused to talk to anyone for a few days, I think I made it a whole month by only speaking four short sentences before I started talking properly again. Most of my 'talking' was done with my friend on paper while she tried to offer reassurance.

Honestly I don't know whats worse, the cold heavy feeling in your chest or being numb. It was like I was aware of everything around me but it never quite reached me, like I was detatched from the world.

Its hard, to grieve. I can see other people in mourning but it didn't make sense. On a daily basis I was always afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing and when you lose someone suddenly that fear increases. You don't know what to say because you also know nothing will make it better or make the feeling go away.

It took about a month of sitting down and hugging my mum every night and writing to my friend explaining what was going on in my head to finally accept that there wasn't anything I could do to fix it, only to try and carry on while remembering the person. The pain is still there, I realise now that it'll never fully go away. But I try hard to remember all the good times, when we used to 'race' down the road pushing my uncle along in his wheelchair while he encouraged us to go faster, or before he got sick when he used to pick us up and spin us around.

I hope you have luck finding help for your daughter, and I just want her to know shes not alone. What shes doing isn't wrong, but that there may be better ways of dealing with all the emotions she may be feeling. And most importantly, just be there for her.

I wish you the best of luck,

Katie.