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Adult daughter refuses diagnosis

busahale

Hi to everyone in this group from myself and my wife. We have a 21 year old daughter who we believe to be on the ASD, probably Asperger’s, she is not diagnosed and refuses to see the GP. During her school life she had a SEN statement and received teaching support for moderate learning difficulties.

Since finishing FE College at 19 she has stayed living with us but her ASD traits seem to be evolving into a more confrontational approach to anyone who tries to help her. She stays in her bedroom most of the day and seems to think we are shouting at her just by asking her a question. This creates a vicious circle of increased isolation as we are reluctant to engage with her due to the unpredictable responses.

We would be grateful if anyone in the forum would be able to advise us regarding the way forward so that we can help her to make the most of what abilities she has and minimise the increasingly negative aspects of her behaviour.

We are in the Merseyside area,thank you.

Parents

  • I think it may be better to back off on the diagnosis front too. She may fear the stigma of it and what it may mean for her. She may be picking up on your fears about her capabilities and strengths. She may feel that you have no faith in her.

    I also think 21 can be a tough milestone year. She probably both desires and fears testing her untried adulthood given that she has already had extra help for learning difficulties. 

    Probably it is not something to tackle alone and there is help  and support around for the parents too.

    What is she good at? What could help her develop her confidence and knowledge that she could ultimately be capable of negotiating the world?

Reply

  • I think it may be better to back off on the diagnosis front too. She may fear the stigma of it and what it may mean for her. She may be picking up on your fears about her capabilities and strengths. She may feel that you have no faith in her.

    I also think 21 can be a tough milestone year. She probably both desires and fears testing her untried adulthood given that she has already had extra help for learning difficulties. 

    Probably it is not something to tackle alone and there is help  and support around for the parents too.

    What is she good at? What could help her develop her confidence and knowledge that she could ultimately be capable of negotiating the world?

Children
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