Questions about Asperger's

I completely identify. I'm also terrible at following spoken instructions if they're not simple one stage instructions. I've recently started a new job so I am struggling quite a bit with that at the moment.

That's it in a nutshell, there's no way for us to know because we only know what it's like to be us. Even though we usually know from an early age that we are different, we can't judge what the difference is.

I've had to learn to do eye contact, and often an accompanying handshake. I've learned that looking slightly away from the eyes is equally as uncomfortable for me, because then I wonder if the other person can tell what I'm doing. Nevertheless, if there's an interesting looking spot, feature or blemish, I'm drawn to it and usually riveted by it, even to the point of forgetting to hear what the person is saying.

Sometimes, like you, I focus on an unrelated item - an object or picture, a view out of a window, someone doing something within eyeshot. The worst one is when I'm talking to someone and I quickly get the gist of what's coming, so having got the point way before it's made, I go off into a trance and have an entertaining daydream instead.

The effort of dealing with other people takes huge amounts of my resources and leaves me feeling exhausted, and that's on an average day. Sometimes just the thought of having to deal with other people leaves me feeling weak. What I really find hard are those instances where I have to deal with someone 'suddenly' - an unexpected 'phone call, a knock at the door, a person in public who suddenly tries to converse with me, that sort of thing.

Do you identify with any of this?

longman said:

Useful to be able to read people's reactions but its knowing what to do with it that counts. Non-autistic peopole seem very versatile in using this knowledge. How do you know you are reading facial expression properly?

What do you look at most when looking at someone who is speaking to you?

That's the most confusing thing about figuring out the extent of any such problems. Eg. If I do get something wrong and no one corrects me or there's no other way to find out I have misunderstood something I may not realise the mistake.

I have always had problems with eye contact, family members and supervisors/managers have told me this. I do make eye contact but it's not something that came naturally, it's very much a learned and conscious effort. Often my eyes are drawn to other areas, either something they might be wearing or their mouth etc or some other object in the room entirely

Hi mattdens

I wonder about this myself, and I DO have a formal diagnoisis.

The actual assessment wasn't about ticking boxes, and that's why the questionaires only form part of the structured interview. Questionaires don't give you room to express the 'grey' areas, which is good because whilst we have questions, the answers are either 0 or 1.

I 'read' people, but not so much their words or expressions, but more that I 'feel' who they are inside. Sorry if this sounds woolly, the language doesn't exist yet to properly describe it.

As Longman says, you're being misled by things that are asserted by non-ASD people, and they often get it very wrong precisely. It's also misleading you by saying that this and that should happen, and then you're confused because you can't see it in yourself. We'd like to correct them, but they don't listen or ask. What you're expressing is something that I could say too, and yet, I'm diagnosed and I agree with and accept the diagnosis in full, because it's right.

Ask for the proper assessment, be ready to explain to your GP why you're asking, also be sure about what difference you think it will make to your life to have a diagnosis. Don't worry about giving the 'right' answer, the right answer will always be the one you are giving, because it's right for you and that's all that matters. Trust your instincts!

And come back on here lots and lots, we're all, always, ready to help, guide and support new chums and those seeking answers

Useful to be able to read people's reactions but its knowing what to do with it that counts. Non-autistic peopole seem very versatile in using this knowledge. How do you know you are reading facial expression properly?

What do you look at most when looking at someone who is speaking to you?

The metaphors thing is over-stated. Indeed some of the categories in the triad are hard to take seriously - lacking empathy for example. The evidence on which someone is judged to be "lacking empathy" is dubious.

Personally I don't have trouble understanding metaphors. But they do fascinate me, and I do see very strong visual images, and question them and see other interpretations etc. I don't just accept them as language. I've yet to meet someone who really takes "it is raining cats and dogs" literally. On the other hand "take a long walk off a short pier" produces dreadful images.

Thanks for the informative reply.

I've booked a doctors appointment to discuss it and request a formal assessment. 

Hi and welcome

Not all autistic people have trouble with using language features or with reading expressions.

The only way to be sure is to embark on getting a formal diagnosis. That might not be the right choice for you though. It has its good and bad points.

An NHS diagnosis is made on the criteria in the link below, not on features found in online quizzes.

sites.cardiff.ac.uk/.../DSM-5-publication-frequently-asked-questions-and-answers.pdf

This article, though informative, does use the term 'autistic spectrum disorder'. This is typical of language used by clinicians, even government policy on autism no longer uses the word 'disorder'. And I think ICD 11 is out now or will be shortly.

As a pedantic point (and we mostly are pedantic and fond of detail) Aspergers Syndrome as a diagnosis ceased to exist in my health authority when DSM V was issued.

en.wikipedia.org/.../DSM-5

We're all autistic now, though if anyone has a previous diagnosis of Aspergers that still stands.