Involvement of family- adult diagnosis

Hi Belles. Many thanks for that. I had to seriously think back to those memories I retain of her as a teenager. Interestingly, although I was 4 years younger than her and lived most of the time in a vague fog, I realised just how many clear memories I have.

The things you say about your friendships remind me that she was much the same. She had a few good friends, one in particular, and didn't sem to socialise much beyond that. She got her first boyfriend at 16, and between him and school, her friendships seemed to just grow more distant. I can see now that this held true in another way throughout her life. She would find a friend, it would be intense for a while, then their friendship would dwindle away.

She moved to a fairly quiet and quite rural town, to an old farmhouse that was reasonably isolated. the nearest neighbour was the next farm, half a mile away, and it was her haven. She sought peace and solitude. She might well have someone visit on odd days, but she didn't often go out to visit. She didn't like pubs, she had a real issue with being seen eating in public, and she felt a great urge to make and keep her home environment perfect.

Her cleanliness and tidiness were exacting, but her home was always made beautiful, although she rarely spent money to achieve this. Her artistic talent was expressed mostly with paint/pencil/canvas/paper, but she could also arrange some dried twigs she'd collected on a walk, and make them 'perfect for that place' wherever she chose to display them. Her tastes in display objects were eclectic, but selective.

She could never see that she had any particular talent. In fact, she often said that she envied my use of language, insisting that I could do with words what she could do with paint. I never got that.

I have to recall our home environment, which wasn't great, then, if I compare my memories of her and combine them with my new knowledge of being AS, and I get the right prompt from the things you say, I'm looking at how I would display an AS trait, and how she would display the same one.

My sister learned to play 'cute'. She would would hold her head down, and with a 'cutesie' half smile, look up at people from under her eyebrows. I always had the feeling that she was deliberately using a learned behaviour to be appealing, and additionaly I now think this was her way of reducing 'eye' contact', although I don't think any of it was a conscious act. She was encouraged in this behaviour by our parents because they thought it was wonderful to have such a cute little girl, and that's what I mean by the contribution of the conditions at home.

I'll be thinking more about those comparisons, and I'll be sharing them with you shortly. Take care.

Hi Belles. Many thanks for that. I had to seriously think back to those memories I retain of her as a teenager. Interestingly, although I was 4 years younger than her and lived most of the time in a vague fog, I realised just how many clear memories I have.

The things you say about your friendships remind me that she was much the same. She had a few good friends, one in particular, and didn't sem to socialise much beyond that. She got her first boyfriend at 16, and between him and school, her friendships seemed to just grow more distant. I can see now that this held true in another way throughout her life. She would find a friend, it would be intense for a while, then their friendship would dwindle away.

She moved to a fairly quiet and quite rural town, to an old farmhouse that was reasonably isolated. the nearest neighbour was the next farm, half a mile away, and it was her haven. She sought peace and solitude. She might well have someone visit on odd days, but she didn't often go out to visit. She didn't like pubs, she had a real issue with being seen eating in public, and she felt a great urge to make and keep her home environment perfect.

Her cleanliness and tidiness were exacting, but her home was always made beautiful, although she rarely spent money to achieve this. Her artistic talent was expressed mostly with paint/pencil/canvas/paper, but she could also arrange some dried twigs she'd collected on a walk, and make them 'perfect for that place' wherever she chose to display them. Her tastes in display objects were eclectic, but selective.

She could never see that she had any particular talent. In fact, she often said that she envied my use of language, insisting that I could do with words what she could do with paint. I never got that.

I have to recall our home environment, which wasn't great, then, if I compare my memories of her and combine them with my new knowledge of being AS, and I get the right prompt from the things you say, I'm looking at how I would display an AS trait, and how she would display the same one.

My sister learned to play 'cute'. She would would hold her head down, and with a 'cutesie' half smile, look up at people from under her eyebrows. I always had the feeling that she was deliberately using a learned behaviour to be appealing, and additionaly I now think this was her way of reducing 'eye' contact', although I don't think any of it was a conscious act. She was encouraged in this behaviour by our parents because they thought it was wonderful to have such a cute little girl, and that's what I mean by the contribution of the conditions at home.

I'll be thinking more about those comparisons, and I'll be sharing them with you shortly. Take care.