Involvement of family- adult diagnosis

Oh please, take as long as you like, you're very interesting to read

The 'struggle' you describe is a common one, I've found here, especially when we've been able to 'mask' it with adopted behaviours, or at least we think we have... Generally, awkward (I've been labeled 'clumsy') is an ASD sign, and the innability to read other people is a prime indicator. It's really nice that you are happy to be on the road to diagnosis, because finally getting an explanation for those unanswered questions was, for me, liberating in ways I can't describe. I really hope it's the same for you.

I don't know about you, but I find that I prefer to talk in writing rather than have a voice conversation. I have time to think about the question, and do my best to give a full answer. First I write it down, then I edit and shorten it, so sorry, this IS the short, edited version LOL!

About 'rituals and routines'. It is very important to me that things don't change. The more familiar I am with something, the more comfortable I am with it, but the picture must look the same as last time or I am disturbed untill I can spot the change. The counterpoints to this are that if things change (and we can spot very small changes) I am made uneasy, which itself becomes a major sensitivity. Also, if things aren't as or where I left them, I'm immediately put into 'the zone'. Lastly, I always struggle with new places (the ones I can't avoid) because of their unfamiliarity to me, and it helps take some of the lonelyness and fear away if I have someone with me.

This 'picture' is firmly a photographic memory issue, in my mind. It's an ancient 'navigational' instinct if you will. Humans explore in order to know what's further out from our social group and hunt for new resources, so it's in our nature to explore and the important thing that we do is create 'mind maps' so that we can find our way back again. Men and women do this differently, but we both do it. It would make sense that some people would be better at this than others, so it follows that human evolution has led to people improving their memory skills, right up to 'photographic' memory. ASD is a scale, and so are its' elements. You might think of it as being a 'good' memory without knowing where on that scale you are.

So, I take your point about the conditions that make female diagnosis so much more difficult, and I wonder how we can address that? If 'girls' tactics are known, do you think that there's a way to differentiate between 'copied and repeated' behaviour in Aspies, and 'learned how' behaviour (sorry, I'm struggling for the question and trust that you understand what I'm asking) in non-autistic girls? Have I even asked the right question?

You got it exactly when you talked about the results of not knowing ASD women. I have the same issue, in our way, with my sex. I think that there is a general communication issue for Aspies and we need to throw this kind of stuff around between us quite freely. It's especially good to talk with some common aims and understanding, and that's why I value this conversation with you.

Thank you for sharing.

Oh please, take as long as you like, you're very interesting to read

The 'struggle' you describe is a common one, I've found here, especially when we've been able to 'mask' it with adopted behaviours, or at least we think we have... Generally, awkward (I've been labeled 'clumsy') is an ASD sign, and the innability to read other people is a prime indicator. It's really nice that you are happy to be on the road to diagnosis, because finally getting an explanation for those unanswered questions was, for me, liberating in ways I can't describe. I really hope it's the same for you.

I don't know about you, but I find that I prefer to talk in writing rather than have a voice conversation. I have time to think about the question, and do my best to give a full answer. First I write it down, then I edit and shorten it, so sorry, this IS the short, edited version LOL!

About 'rituals and routines'. It is very important to me that things don't change. The more familiar I am with something, the more comfortable I am with it, but the picture must look the same as last time or I am disturbed untill I can spot the change. The counterpoints to this are that if things change (and we can spot very small changes) I am made uneasy, which itself becomes a major sensitivity. Also, if things aren't as or where I left them, I'm immediately put into 'the zone'. Lastly, I always struggle with new places (the ones I can't avoid) because of their unfamiliarity to me, and it helps take some of the lonelyness and fear away if I have someone with me.

This 'picture' is firmly a photographic memory issue, in my mind. It's an ancient 'navigational' instinct if you will. Humans explore in order to know what's further out from our social group and hunt for new resources, so it's in our nature to explore and the important thing that we do is create 'mind maps' so that we can find our way back again. Men and women do this differently, but we both do it. It would make sense that some people would be better at this than others, so it follows that human evolution has led to people improving their memory skills, right up to 'photographic' memory. ASD is a scale, and so are its' elements. You might think of it as being a 'good' memory without knowing where on that scale you are.

So, I take your point about the conditions that make female diagnosis so much more difficult, and I wonder how we can address that? If 'girls' tactics are known, do you think that there's a way to differentiate between 'copied and repeated' behaviour in Aspies, and 'learned how' behaviour (sorry, I'm struggling for the question and trust that you understand what I'm asking) in non-autistic girls? Have I even asked the right question?

You got it exactly when you talked about the results of not knowing ASD women. I have the same issue, in our way, with my sex. I think that there is a general communication issue for Aspies and we need to throw this kind of stuff around between us quite freely. It's especially good to talk with some common aims and understanding, and that's why I value this conversation with you.

Thank you for sharing.