Involvement of family- adult diagnosis

Is it the case that sometimes family must be involved (ie. when the outward signs are subtle)?

I'm sorry, I was trying to help with your question. I think that what I'm saying is that it seems to me that 'subtle' always applies to female diagnosis, and I really want to help to address that issue because I think it is very important, and I hope you do too.

When I read Tony Attwood on the subject, I was already bearing in mind a post on another thread by a woman. I was very interested to note that her tactics for dealing with some 'social' issues were the same as mine, observe, copy, try to fit in but hang on the periphery for the lowest possible exposure. She says that this strategy has helped her, I'm afraid that I can't say the same for me, except in a very limited sense.

I then find that you both say much the same thing as Tony Attwood, in that women are considered to adopt a 'camouflage' strategy but men either don't, or do it to a much lesser degree. I have to say that I find women generally to be very good at practising deception, and the women friends I've asked, agree, so it would appear to be a firmly gender, rather than Aspi, issue. But, I also think that both genders of Aspies have an extra need for privacy and tend to hide away as much as possible - it's the 'exposure' thing I guess.

I've seen other research results that at first seem irrelevant, but actually illustrate something for me about gender differences. For instance, in a study of infidelity, it was noted that men could hardly ever tell when their partner was having an affair, because women are good at concealment, whereas women found it 'obvious' in their male partners.

I'd be very interested to hear what you think about this. I'd suggest that if it's true then women Aspies can maybe help the diagnosticians get better at digging away the 'subtlety'. I know what it's like to suffer as undiagnosed, as do so many of us, so I want the diagnosticians to have the best and most effective tools to use. Diagnosis IS getting better, and the earlier it is detected the better for the person, as we all recognise.

I think it must be very hard on you at the moment because you don't want your family involved. I think that there are Aspies with no choice because they don't have any family to feed in to their diagnosis, so the personal assessment is vital to such people. You don't want your family involved, and I think that's fine, so I also think that the diagnostic tools should work efficiently regardless. I don't have family to feed in for me, but my diagnosis didn't seem at all hindered by the lack.

I think my sister was an undiagnosed Aspie, but I can't test it because we lost her a few years ago to cancer. I'm left to evaluate my memories of her in light of my own diagnosis, and taking into account the views of other Aspie women is really helpful.

I resonate with your confusion. Because you've been left in an information vacuum, you're left to guess at their reasons, and I don't think they realise the impact of doing so. You are much happier now that you're on the diagnostic ladder, so I wonder if you feel strongly about this issue as it affects female diagnosis?

Is it the case that sometimes family must be involved (ie. when the outward signs are subtle)?

I'm sorry, I was trying to help with your question. I think that what I'm saying is that it seems to me that 'subtle' always applies to female diagnosis, and I really want to help to address that issue because I think it is very important, and I hope you do too.

When I read Tony Attwood on the subject, I was already bearing in mind a post on another thread by a woman. I was very interested to note that her tactics for dealing with some 'social' issues were the same as mine, observe, copy, try to fit in but hang on the periphery for the lowest possible exposure. She says that this strategy has helped her, I'm afraid that I can't say the same for me, except in a very limited sense.

I then find that you both say much the same thing as Tony Attwood, in that women are considered to adopt a 'camouflage' strategy but men either don't, or do it to a much lesser degree. I have to say that I find women generally to be very good at practising deception, and the women friends I've asked, agree, so it would appear to be a firmly gender, rather than Aspi, issue. But, I also think that both genders of Aspies have an extra need for privacy and tend to hide away as much as possible - it's the 'exposure' thing I guess.

I've seen other research results that at first seem irrelevant, but actually illustrate something for me about gender differences. For instance, in a study of infidelity, it was noted that men could hardly ever tell when their partner was having an affair, because women are good at concealment, whereas women found it 'obvious' in their male partners.

I'd be very interested to hear what you think about this. I'd suggest that if it's true then women Aspies can maybe help the diagnosticians get better at digging away the 'subtlety'. I know what it's like to suffer as undiagnosed, as do so many of us, so I want the diagnosticians to have the best and most effective tools to use. Diagnosis IS getting better, and the earlier it is detected the better for the person, as we all recognise.

I think it must be very hard on you at the moment because you don't want your family involved. I think that there are Aspies with no choice because they don't have any family to feed in to their diagnosis, so the personal assessment is vital to such people. You don't want your family involved, and I think that's fine, so I also think that the diagnostic tools should work efficiently regardless. I don't have family to feed in for me, but my diagnosis didn't seem at all hindered by the lack.

I think my sister was an undiagnosed Aspie, but I can't test it because we lost her a few years ago to cancer. I'm left to evaluate my memories of her in light of my own diagnosis, and taking into account the views of other Aspie women is really helpful.

I resonate with your confusion. Because you've been left in an information vacuum, you're left to guess at their reasons, and I don't think they realise the impact of doing so. You are much happier now that you're on the diagnostic ladder, so I wonder if you feel strongly about this issue as it affects female diagnosis?