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What kind of support is available?

MoonAndStars

Hi,

I'm currently waiting to be assessed, I'm pretty certain I have Asperger's. My eldest son was diagnosed last year, I always knew but it took a lot of pushing since infant school to get him assessed (he's 14 this year). It didn't really cross my mind that I could be on the spectrum until recently. My sister and I both believe our dad is on the spectrum and for many, many reasons this makes a lot of sense for myself, too. 

I'm not sure how long it takes, waiting to be assessed and stuff, I don't know if assessment will be like it was for my son or not, I don't know. But I was wondering what support is available for adults? I'd love to have a job for instance, I started studying a few years ago with the Open University but then things happened and I left it. I would love to train as a mental health nurse, but I left school at 13 so never did my GCSEs. I was ok with English, but terrible at maths and still am now. I don't think I can do maths, it just doesn't go in. But, I do want a career. I don't want to waste any more time not doing anything. But it's frightening. I asked Victim Support if I could volunteer for them and they sent me an application, but I need references which I don't have because I don't spend any time with anyone and haven't worked in a long time. It also requires me to travel to complete training, but I'm terrified of travelling very far. It's not just that, but the social side of things, I wouldn't know where to start. I just don't socialise. I have spent years isolating myself because I feel safer that way. I don't know how to interact with people. I don't know how to talk to them. I can't keep conversations going, or keep track of them. If it's not something I'm interested in, it's like I can see the words coming out of someone's mouth but they're disappearing in front of my eyes and I have no recollection of what's been said. I'm guessing most employers would see me as unemployable? I just don't know. I don't know much right now except I'd like to be able to manage all this and start leading a more 'normal' life. 

Sorry, I don't really know if there's a point to this post. 

  • Thank you so much for your reply :)

    I have researched yes, it's just that I've never applied it to myself before. I'm lucky in that my husband has a lot of experience working with people with autism, so I do have his support, but of course because we're close it's also difficult as well in a way. I kind of wish I was on talking terms with my step mother because she too has lots of experience and could probably be very helpful, but we've not spoken for about four years. 

    Going by my son's experience so far, I'm not convinced there's an awful lot of support here. He was diagnosed, given a follow up appointment, told to read a book and that was it. We weren't told of any support groups or anything in our area, I've found them myself on here! I'm currently trying to encourage him to attend a group as I think he'd actually enjoy it, but he does find it difficult and I completely understand why. 

    Thank you for your help and the link :)

  • There are a lot of good and valid points to the post and hopefully you'll get more replies.

    I think from the perspective you find yourself in, where very isolated and not having confident starting points, you might find biographical accounts of people on the spectrum useful.

    There are two I could suggest - John Elder Robison "Look me in the eye: my life with Aspergers" 2007 (USA context and publisher I cannot find at moment) and Marc Fleisher "Making Sense of the Unfeasible: My life journey with Asperger Syndrome" Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2003.

    Robison is witty and upbeat, and goes through from childhood to mature years, and he has a website http://www.johnrobison.com/ which might be useful as well. Marc Fleisher writes from childhood to early adulthood (is still around writing books) but goes into a lot of detail about difficulties.

    I suggest these, and any others you can find, because you probably need to see that people can adapt and cope, and get out in the world of people. Having confidence and good self esteem is vital and both these authors manage it.

    Support for adults isn't great and getting a diagnosis is a postcode lottery at the moment, good in some local authorities poor in others. Because it takes time it may be more productive short term to assume you have it, read up about living with it, and try to see if knowing more about it helps you find solutions.

    Having a son diagnosed means you are probably researching on his account anyway, so it will help you to follow his pathway where appropriate.

    Maybe others will come forward meantime.