Hi
My daughter has just been given the diagnosis ASD in clinic, we have yet to see it in black and white on paper.
I really dont understand, what it actually means - what it covers, where she fits in, what can I do to help her. She is very demand avoidant, everything is a constant battle to get her to do everyday things - brush teeth/hair etc, she hates to wear clothes, especially anything on her feet and cant stand cuffs on her hands - she is violent at home but better behaved in school - the doctor told me its like a bottle of pop - everytime something happens at school where she feels anxious etc the pop gets shaken - the appearence of the bottle doesnt change, yet the liquid inside does - by the time she comes home, the bottle has been shaken so many times - it explodes - as does my daughter. I just dont know how to handle these explosions, I've been hit, kicked, scratched, bitten - she screams she hates me and tells me she doesnt want me as her mummy and she wants me to leave.
She has obsessions about things being tight, such as shoes and can spend up to an hour fastening her shoes again and again - then a period of things being loose and refusing to wear any shoes at all, she licks things and smells them in public places where we get funny looks from people - I feel like I need to walk round with a sign explaining her behaviour but I cant explain it myself. I really am at the end of my tether, I really dont know how much longer I can cope - there is such a waiting list for services to get involved but I really need the help now. I am spending most of the time in tears, I worry I'm going to lose my job as I'm often late for work due to my daughter not wanting to get up in a morning, then not wanting to get dressed and the rest of it - by the time I get her to school I feel I've already run a marathon then she doesnt want to go into school, she will either run off or become a dead weight and I have to drag her to class, which makes me feel terrible - the other day I left her under a table in the school corridoor (a member of staff went to her), which upset me for the whole day - I spoke to the senco about this and she said she was 'fine' after - how can she be fine, how can this be fine - its not fine and I feel like I'm not really being listended to or taken seriously. I rang the school nurse yesterday (again in tears) for an update on the cahms referral and she gave me the emergency number for social services in case I couldnt cope over the weekend, I'm too scared to ring this in case they take my daughter away from me, I dont want her to be taken away, I want her here with me, where she is loved and where she belongs, I just want someone to help me manage her behaviour - she is scared, she is anxious, even when she goes into a major meltdown and starts with the violence, i know she is scared, taking her away would make her more anxious and scared. I just dont know what to do for the best any ideas/advice would be gratefully accepted as I really just dont know what to do anymore.
Thank you