Wishing he was dead - fantasy/reality??

My 9 yr old son with ASD went through an extremely traumatic academic year, last year, was depressed and often in the heat of the moment said things like "I wish I was dead", "I would kill myself" , "I wish you were dead" to his younger sister and once did grap a screwdriver and threaten to stab himself in the eye with it.  At that time I was very concerned about the self harm of the screwdriver, albeit I managed to distract his attention and he did not follow through. 

When he is stressed he oftens will throw into the conversation, "I wish I was dead" despite seeming ok and asking if he can have a bag of crisps etc.

He has been very happy all this academic year, however I discovered today from school that they think to keep him safe he should not go on fighting computer games as they believe this is why he has said things to LSA's when stressed such as "I wish I could put a gun at my head and fire".  I do not believe the fighting games will make any difference - we are talking Star Wars, lego Universe not the graphic human images.  I also think this is fantasy and my son has no proportion for what is acceptable in society.

Having just heard this in a meeting today that this kind of language has been going on for some time I am a little in shock and beginning to doubt myself.  What if he is on the edge of a sort of role play/fantasy which I have seen him do previously with a batman baddy and I was worried he would come to harm getting carried away in the role.  I touched on it with him this evening saying to him, when you say things like "I wish I was dead" some people who do not know you so well will think you mean it and it will worry and upset them.  He said "I do mean it sometimes".  I tried to bring the reality of this saying well you don't mean it as you would never be able to enjoy x,y,z then and he said "I wouldn't care".  But yet, he is very happy in himself?!   Help!

He clearly needs support from somewhere on the acceptable use of language when stressed out but I am wondering should I be getting a psychiatrist involved before we reach the teenage years of up's and down's in mood and susceptibility to depression??

Should I be concerned?  Where can I get support for this sort of thing?

I am trying hard not to react emotionally to him but have explained to him it has upset me hearing him talk like that.

Any experience, thoughts or advice welcome.

 

 

 

Parents
  • Yes I have had suicidal thoughts as a child.

    I do remember aged nine on the way to swimming with the Maudsley Hospital.

    I was in the Hospital school at the time.

    (That was in 1966 nearly fifty years ago.)

     

    I said I want to commit suicide.

    A male nurse said if you do not shutup I will commit fanticide.

    That remark is called shock therapy so I am not sure if the nurse was right to say that.

    I said what does fanticide mean he explained it was a type of murder.

    The correct word is infanticide meaning murder of a baby.

    Does your son have counselling?

    I saw Psychiatrists when I was a small boy but I was not mature enough to make use of their time.  One Psychiatrist complained that I asked him for a game of chess.

    There was one good thing about the Maudsley Hospital was that the children had sessions with a Psychiatrist.

    I think your son should be treated like an adult and have a chance to discuss his feellings with a Councillor who could be a Psychiatrist or Psychologist or Social Worker Nurse.  I have had lots of Counselling through out my life.

    David

Reply
  • Yes I have had suicidal thoughts as a child.

    I do remember aged nine on the way to swimming with the Maudsley Hospital.

    I was in the Hospital school at the time.

    (That was in 1966 nearly fifty years ago.)

     

    I said I want to commit suicide.

    A male nurse said if you do not shutup I will commit fanticide.

    That remark is called shock therapy so I am not sure if the nurse was right to say that.

    I said what does fanticide mean he explained it was a type of murder.

    The correct word is infanticide meaning murder of a baby.

    Does your son have counselling?

    I saw Psychiatrists when I was a small boy but I was not mature enough to make use of their time.  One Psychiatrist complained that I asked him for a game of chess.

    There was one good thing about the Maudsley Hospital was that the children had sessions with a Psychiatrist.

    I think your son should be treated like an adult and have a chance to discuss his feellings with a Councillor who could be a Psychiatrist or Psychologist or Social Worker Nurse.  I have had lots of Counselling through out my life.

    David

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