Wishing he was dead - fantasy/reality??

My 9 yr old son with ASD went through an extremely traumatic academic year, last year, was depressed and often in the heat of the moment said things like "I wish I was dead", "I would kill myself" , "I wish you were dead" to his younger sister and once did grap a screwdriver and threaten to stab himself in the eye with it.  At that time I was very concerned about the self harm of the screwdriver, albeit I managed to distract his attention and he did not follow through. 

When he is stressed he oftens will throw into the conversation, "I wish I was dead" despite seeming ok and asking if he can have a bag of crisps etc.

He has been very happy all this academic year, however I discovered today from school that they think to keep him safe he should not go on fighting computer games as they believe this is why he has said things to LSA's when stressed such as "I wish I could put a gun at my head and fire".  I do not believe the fighting games will make any difference - we are talking Star Wars, lego Universe not the graphic human images.  I also think this is fantasy and my son has no proportion for what is acceptable in society.

Having just heard this in a meeting today that this kind of language has been going on for some time I am a little in shock and beginning to doubt myself.  What if he is on the edge of a sort of role play/fantasy which I have seen him do previously with a batman baddy and I was worried he would come to harm getting carried away in the role.  I touched on it with him this evening saying to him, when you say things like "I wish I was dead" some people who do not know you so well will think you mean it and it will worry and upset them.  He said "I do mean it sometimes".  I tried to bring the reality of this saying well you don't mean it as you would never be able to enjoy x,y,z then and he said "I wouldn't care".  But yet, he is very happy in himself?!   Help!

He clearly needs support from somewhere on the acceptable use of language when stressed out but I am wondering should I be getting a psychiatrist involved before we reach the teenage years of up's and down's in mood and susceptibility to depression??

Should I be concerned?  Where can I get support for this sort of thing?

I am trying hard not to react emotionally to him but have explained to him it has upset me hearing him talk like that.

Any experience, thoughts or advice welcome.

 

 

 

Parents
  • I would just like to say that it isn't just kids or adults with ASD, my nearly ten year old son, says this a lot when he is angry or upset, normally in regards to the way his ASD brother treats him, we have talked this through and he says he doesn't really mean it, only sometimes and he can't explain why he does say it. There are mental health issues in the family (depression, bi-poplar and so on) so it maybe worth getting assessed for depression ( I know it's young but I have had depression from around the same age). Sorry rambling so back on point, if my ten year old without ASD can not explain or comprehend fully what he is saying and why, the chances are your son really has no concept of what he is saying and the impact that will have on people around him, but if you are still worried it maybe worth talking it through with your consultant or who ever manages your sons health. On another point, obviously I know every child is different, but my eleven year old with ASD does act out scenes he sees in computer games, ,even thou we don't allow him to play anything older than a 12 at the moment as he is very impressionable, so it maybe a factor, copying something he has seen to enable him to express himself. I don't know if any of that helps :) Kimx
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  • I would just like to say that it isn't just kids or adults with ASD, my nearly ten year old son, says this a lot when he is angry or upset, normally in regards to the way his ASD brother treats him, we have talked this through and he says he doesn't really mean it, only sometimes and he can't explain why he does say it. There are mental health issues in the family (depression, bi-poplar and so on) so it maybe worth getting assessed for depression ( I know it's young but I have had depression from around the same age). Sorry rambling so back on point, if my ten year old without ASD can not explain or comprehend fully what he is saying and why, the chances are your son really has no concept of what he is saying and the impact that will have on people around him, but if you are still worried it maybe worth talking it through with your consultant or who ever manages your sons health. On another point, obviously I know every child is different, but my eleven year old with ASD does act out scenes he sees in computer games, ,even thou we don't allow him to play anything older than a 12 at the moment as he is very impressionable, so it maybe a factor, copying something he has seen to enable him to express himself. I don't know if any of that helps :) Kimx
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