• Replies 11 replies
  • Subscribers 25 subscribers
  • Views 7521 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Wishing he was dead - fantasy/reality??

Mhairi

My 9 yr old son with ASD went through an extremely traumatic academic year, last year, was depressed and often in the heat of the moment said things like "I wish I was dead", "I would kill myself" , "I wish you were dead" to his younger sister and once did grap a screwdriver and threaten to stab himself in the eye with it.  At that time I was very concerned about the self harm of the screwdriver, albeit I managed to distract his attention and he did not follow through. 

When he is stressed he oftens will throw into the conversation, "I wish I was dead" despite seeming ok and asking if he can have a bag of crisps etc.

He has been very happy all this academic year, however I discovered today from school that they think to keep him safe he should not go on fighting computer games as they believe this is why he has said things to LSA's when stressed such as "I wish I could put a gun at my head and fire".  I do not believe the fighting games will make any difference - we are talking Star Wars, lego Universe not the graphic human images.  I also think this is fantasy and my son has no proportion for what is acceptable in society.

Having just heard this in a meeting today that this kind of language has been going on for some time I am a little in shock and beginning to doubt myself.  What if he is on the edge of a sort of role play/fantasy which I have seen him do previously with a batman baddy and I was worried he would come to harm getting carried away in the role.  I touched on it with him this evening saying to him, when you say things like "I wish I was dead" some people who do not know you so well will think you mean it and it will worry and upset them.  He said "I do mean it sometimes".  I tried to bring the reality of this saying well you don't mean it as you would never be able to enjoy x,y,z then and he said "I wouldn't care".  But yet, he is very happy in himself?!   Help!

He clearly needs support from somewhere on the acceptable use of language when stressed out but I am wondering should I be getting a psychiatrist involved before we reach the teenage years of up's and down's in mood and susceptibility to depression??

Should I be concerned?  Where can I get support for this sort of thing?

I am trying hard not to react emotionally to him but have explained to him it has upset me hearing him talk like that.

Any experience, thoughts or advice welcome.

 

 

 

Parents
  • Hi Mahiri,
    It sounds like there are some difficult issues here for you to consider your approach to.  It’s certainly positive to hear that your son is currently happy in himself.
    I’m sure that some other community members will have had experiences with different aspects you’re dealing with and will be able to share these with you, but in the meantime we thought that it would be useful to point you towards some sources of support that we offer that may be helpful and also those offered by external services.
    A good first point of reference may be to contact our Helpline.  They may be able to offer some support with aspects of his behaviour and also support you in finding other professionals who may be suitable in providing some input and guidance.  You can contact our helpline through:
    Or call them: 0808 800 4104
    You may also find it useful to work through our ‘Signpost’ directory which may also highlight some useful sources of support:
    In addition to support for your son, it may also be helpful to you to have access to some support for yourself from other parents who may be experiencing similar issues.  If this is something you are interested in, you may find it helpful to contact our Parent to Parent line:
    You can call them on: 0808 800 4106 which is a freecall number
    External to us, you may find that Young Minds who offer help with child mental health issues may be able to give some further useful input or offer other approaches and strategies.  Their website is:
    They have contact details for their helpline on their homepage.
    We hope that some of these sources of help are useful to you and give you some ways forward.  We would also advise that if you are concerned at any time you could contact your GP for more immediate advice, support and input as necessary.
     
    Alex - Mod
Reply
  • Hi Mahiri,
    It sounds like there are some difficult issues here for you to consider your approach to.  It’s certainly positive to hear that your son is currently happy in himself.
    I’m sure that some other community members will have had experiences with different aspects you’re dealing with and will be able to share these with you, but in the meantime we thought that it would be useful to point you towards some sources of support that we offer that may be helpful and also those offered by external services.
    A good first point of reference may be to contact our Helpline.  They may be able to offer some support with aspects of his behaviour and also support you in finding other professionals who may be suitable in providing some input and guidance.  You can contact our helpline through:
    Or call them: 0808 800 4104
    You may also find it useful to work through our ‘Signpost’ directory which may also highlight some useful sources of support:
    In addition to support for your son, it may also be helpful to you to have access to some support for yourself from other parents who may be experiencing similar issues.  If this is something you are interested in, you may find it helpful to contact our Parent to Parent line:
    You can call them on: 0808 800 4106 which is a freecall number
    External to us, you may find that Young Minds who offer help with child mental health issues may be able to give some further useful input or offer other approaches and strategies.  Their website is:
    They have contact details for their helpline on their homepage.
    We hope that some of these sources of help are useful to you and give you some ways forward.  We would also advise that if you are concerned at any time you could contact your GP for more immediate advice, support and input as necessary.
     
    Alex - Mod
Children
No Data