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DON'T KNOW WHERE TO TURN AND SCARED !!

vickimacca

Hi , over the past 2 years we have been through a very hard time with Social Services . Since both my children were very young we have had issues behavioural , educational , self harm, foodCry and social. The children were being assessed for A.S.D when Social Services got involved falsely accusing us of Fabricated Induced Illness and as I have Depression also accusing me of having Munchausen's Syndrome . We are now fully finished with Social Services as the social worker was found to be incompetent and our doctor , who was the Safeguarding Officer , wrote a letter stating that we hadn't made anything up .

The assessment concluded with both children having A.S.D. traits but not enough for a diagnosis. The issues with the children are getting worse and they are struggling with life ( our son mainly but sometimes our daughter ) and the problem is we don't know where to turn ,I trust our doctor but after all that has happened my husband and I are scared as we don't want Social Services involved again . What can we do , where can we go I only want a diagnosis so that we can get the help and support that our childen need . Our family is broken and we don't know how to fix it , I can't even talk to the school because of the same reason .
Please can someone give us some advice , I was going to phone the Autism Helpline but i'm scared of doing that too.i just wish that someone would believe us and help

Parents

  • Hello Mhairi,

      I'm so sorry to here about your difficulties.

    Can I ask? Is your son in reciept of DLA? The reason I ask, is that you maybe able to get some immediate, private, targeted support, using his benefit to fund weekly, ASD therapy sessions. This became necessary for our son, when he was at Crisis point and given the expertise of the therapist, it was money well spent.

    His issues were identified by CAMH's,(Failure of the School to address his SEN), but he was only offered a few weekly sessions of support, which in the end, was not sufficient. I'm not sure where in the region you live, but cuts have had a big impact accross the board, so CAMH's support may be only very short.

    From certain things that I've read and also experienced,(I also have ASD) OCD and paranoia can become worse in times of excessive stress or following trigger occurances, which are beyond our control. Additionally, the teenage years are often the most reported time when parents notice a significant change in their childs behaviour. In our experience, this was when the demands on my son, outstriped his ability to cope.

    Are their any issues within School at the moment (Bullying, reading difficulties etc.)that may be adding to his anxiety? This may be worth looking into. He may not have told you.

    Suicidal thoughts are often a facet of those who are in extreme angst or clinically depressed. They may or may not be acted on by an individual, but are worth taking seriously. For Sarah, on the video I posted below, it's a very real emotion related to wanting to shut down or hybernate when things become too much.

    www.youtube.com/watch

    For others, it's more serious.

    Tony Attwood describes the voicing of suicide, as Catastrophising.

    www.youtube.com/watch

    Speaking as an individual who lost her ASD brother to suicide, I would always take these statements seriously. Suicidal statements should always be respected, but the individual making them needs to feel safe enough to express them. I'm no therapist, but the fact that he is expressing them to you is positive, because your son clearly feels safe enough to do so. Depression and sleeplessness also go hand in hand, so until one is addressed, this may continue.

    I'd reccommend contacting the NAS Helpline in the first instance, for futher advice about resources or therapists in your area. Be prepared to wait on hold for a while as they are always busy.

    Can I ask, does your son have any ASPIE contacts he can talk things through with and is he currently taking any medication to help with his depression?

    My own son has found great solace in realizing he's not alone and that their are others like him out there.

    Lastly, can I also just say. Keep calm. Much of what you mention at the end of your note is what might happen to your daughter and family. It hasn't yet and may never, but worrying over things that might happen is extremely draining and not a good use of your limited resourses just now. I do feel for you as I've been here myself and it's hard to know where to turn.

    Please continue to ask here, as their are many who can give great advice and pointers. Longman is a Gem!

    Take Care

    Coogybear

Reply

  • Hello Mhairi,

      I'm so sorry to here about your difficulties.

    Can I ask? Is your son in reciept of DLA? The reason I ask, is that you maybe able to get some immediate, private, targeted support, using his benefit to fund weekly, ASD therapy sessions. This became necessary for our son, when he was at Crisis point and given the expertise of the therapist, it was money well spent.

    His issues were identified by CAMH's,(Failure of the School to address his SEN), but he was only offered a few weekly sessions of support, which in the end, was not sufficient. I'm not sure where in the region you live, but cuts have had a big impact accross the board, so CAMH's support may be only very short.

    From certain things that I've read and also experienced,(I also have ASD) OCD and paranoia can become worse in times of excessive stress or following trigger occurances, which are beyond our control. Additionally, the teenage years are often the most reported time when parents notice a significant change in their childs behaviour. In our experience, this was when the demands on my son, outstriped his ability to cope.

    Are their any issues within School at the moment (Bullying, reading difficulties etc.)that may be adding to his anxiety? This may be worth looking into. He may not have told you.

    Suicidal thoughts are often a facet of those who are in extreme angst or clinically depressed. They may or may not be acted on by an individual, but are worth taking seriously. For Sarah, on the video I posted below, it's a very real emotion related to wanting to shut down or hybernate when things become too much.

    www.youtube.com/watch

    For others, it's more serious.

    Tony Attwood describes the voicing of suicide, as Catastrophising.

    www.youtube.com/watch

    Speaking as an individual who lost her ASD brother to suicide, I would always take these statements seriously. Suicidal statements should always be respected, but the individual making them needs to feel safe enough to express them. I'm no therapist, but the fact that he is expressing them to you is positive, because your son clearly feels safe enough to do so. Depression and sleeplessness also go hand in hand, so until one is addressed, this may continue.

    I'd reccommend contacting the NAS Helpline in the first instance, for futher advice about resources or therapists in your area. Be prepared to wait on hold for a while as they are always busy.

    Can I ask, does your son have any ASPIE contacts he can talk things through with and is he currently taking any medication to help with his depression?

    My own son has found great solace in realizing he's not alone and that their are others like him out there.

    Lastly, can I also just say. Keep calm. Much of what you mention at the end of your note is what might happen to your daughter and family. It hasn't yet and may never, but worrying over things that might happen is extremely draining and not a good use of your limited resourses just now. I do feel for you as I've been here myself and it's hard to know where to turn.

    Please continue to ask here, as their are many who can give great advice and pointers. Longman is a Gem!

    Take Care

    Coogybear

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