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Dr3am3r,

  I'm so pleased your son has such an open and positive attitude. As mentioned, earlier and on other posts, I'm ashamed to say I didn't really research Autism or ASD when my sons were dignosed.

Looking back now, I can see that a whole wealth of emotions were going through my mind. Grief, Joy, Anger, the whole gammet. It was all too much I guess. Given that I prided myself on 'keeping it real.' I felt somewhat of a coward for burrying my head in the sand post diagnosis. I guess I felt responsible really.

It maybe that your husband has similar unconcious concerns with reference to diagnosis and is anxious about it. Perhaps talk to him about what your son would like and whats in his interests.

Given the way the system seems to work now, it's likely that you will be put off or discouraged from geting an assessment and I've seen many posts here that recount that experience. However, when this happened to my sons and I didn't challenge it, it had the affect of delaying valuable intervention.

If the normal channels of enquiry refuse to help, then their is always private assessment or a second opinion can be sort. Really though, as I understand it, the NICE guidlines illustrate a care pathway and protocol that should be followed. It's up to you to pursue it.

Good Luck

Coogy,

Hello again,

  I just thought ref support. I may have already recommended this to you; so ignore me if I have, but I found Vallerie Gaus's book 'Living Well On The Spectrum' an excellent book for helping my sons.

www.amazon.co.uk/.../1606236342

It's a workbook really, whereby you can look at strengths and weaknesses and learn strategies to cope. I like the book because if concentrates slightly less on the label and more on the Health and well-being aspects, yet also explains to the reader about some of the difficulties individuals suffer, why and how to use your strengths to challenge the difficulties.

Hope that's helpful

Coogybear.

Hi.

16 Is a gifficult age, but frankly I had a mixed bag with provision.

16 is generally the age a statement ends and a MOAP (Moving on action Plan) Is devised. Moap's normally cherry pick the info from a statement, if ones active, and ensure the relevant support is in place, However, as I understand them, MOAP's are not as legally binding as Statements and are therefore open to interpretation from the College etc. In Sept 2014 I believe, the EHC (Education and Health Plans) were more widely implimented, so Moaps may be obsolete now, I'm not sure.

I have two on the spectrum and both were well supported with statements but each had a vastly different experience with MOAP'S in operation when they moved to two separate Colleges. One taught the College SEN what was necessary for him to get by and was then supported and the other was just left to drown by his College with no support.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Diagnosis alone does not ensure support. 16-19 age bracket seems to be a no-mans-land for provison and it's most often the reason teens suffer not withstanding their own difficulties. Many lack the self-driven or independant skills to motivate themselves and even fewer know how to ask for specific help. So it may end up that much of the support is parent driven. Some regions however, seem to have better provision than others and some still have ConneXions, to help youngsters with MOAP's, signposting etc.

Like Socks, I have gone my entire life without knowing what was wrong with me. I'm a late diagnosed Aspie who has struggled greatly through life. I too have found the diagnosis process profoundly important and I'm hoping that armed with that knowledge I can live a safer and calmer balance of my life. Not only has it explained the reason for some of my difficulties, but It has allowed me to be kinder to myself & and forgiving of my diffculties. No magic wand exists to change me and frankly I'd sooner be who I am. The difficulty comes when you campare your ability to manage, against NT's. When you finially realize you are not a struggling NT, but an Aspie, that self-reproach for stuggling to cope can often (but not always) disolve.

My darling adult brother has no clue he is Aspie. He relies heavily on me to help with everyday support and often that's what happens. Family take care of other family members and muddle on with no support.

Socks is right. You don't have to disclose a diagnosis to others and learning who to disclose to is a steep learning curve. I'm not sure to diagnose or not to diagnose is so much the issue, it's more about to be informed and not to be informed.Personally, I wish I'd learned about my difficulties when I was younger.

Cuts are everywhere and resources are scarce, so It's likely you will be talked out of it; as I nearly was, but if it was down to me, I'd insist on assessment.

Look beyond the label and at what's best for your son, not what the stretched services say they are prepared to do for your child with ref to diagnosis.

Get clarity from the psychologist with a firm plan of action and if you are unhappy with it, tell then straight and insist on what you and your son want!

Hope the above doesn't come accoss too negitive because it isn't meant to be, but It's important to be realistic.

Good Luck 

Coogybear xx

Having a label has advantages and disadvantages.

If it is a correct diagnosis then this helps the person understand their condition and it can help them engage with the psychologists in working out strategies to overcome the difficulties that the condition brings.

Having a label can lead some people to think that their situation is hopeless as they think that they have a permanent condition that will always drag them back down.

You can keep a diagnosis confidential and not tell all and sundry about it.

ASD also affects different people differently. I got through school, uni and most of my life without a label. Some people have many more problems, earlier on and it isn't possible to generalise about what the best thing for someone without knowing the individual. I would have benefited from understanding the condition but I can also see that a label might have been difficult to handle for me. At this point, the diagnosis has transformed my life and I am much happier and at ease with the world now that I understand that I am different to other people. I think that many interesting, eccentric, exceptional people have been classified as being on the spectrum so I don't see anything to be ashamed of in the "disorder".