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10 year old daughter anxiety in school, could it be Aspergers?

Meday

My daughter is suffering anxiety at school particuarly around making friends.  I am trying to get help for her and this morning read an article about how girls with aspergers react differently to boys. It was like a lightbulb moment for me and she ticked so many of the boxes.  However, I think she would be borderline at most as the symptoms aren't extreme so am wondering whether to even pursue this line of enquiry while trying to get her help with the anxiety. 

There is aspergers in my husbands family (he isn't her father), and I wonder if I am just trying to put her in this box as at least there will be a solution to a problem which has been bugging her for years and I haven't been able to find a solution to.

Can anyone give me any advice on what I should do.  Her main issues are that she doesn't seem to know what to talk to other children about and she isn't flexible when playing games, she always wants things her way.  She also gets insecure around changes of routine, says she misses her mum at school and is very scatty and disorganised.  She has had issues around food linked to her anxiety. 

  • She may also have inattention Attention defficite dissorder. Explaining her clumsyness and forgetfullness. It can go hand in hand with aspergers. It's likely to not be Dyspraxia.  I have inattention adhd and aspergers and i have the above symptoms. Their are many types of attention defficite dissorder and it doesn't have to be the classic type. The inattention type doesn't have hyperactivity nor impulsiveness. Though with children it is harder to spot.. Inattention adhd has daydreaming, clumsiness,anxiety, not being able to hold onto an ounce of information, but the plus side is we can hyperfocus, so any topic that interests us, we can remember and soak up like a sponge. And the aspergers side is not coping with making friends, not able to read social cues e.t.c. Hope this is of help.

  • Thanks for your reply.  I had considered dyspraxia myself as she is clumsy and does seem to forget things I tell her but remember things from a long time ago. I did mention this to her teacher last year and he said he didn't think it was the case as she can make loom band bracelets and he thought a dyspraxic child would struggle with that. I am hoping the school nurse will phone me today so I can get some further help.

  • Hi Meday,

    It is really important to seek medical advice on this kind of thing (not that necessarily GPs are that autism aware, and you could be "going round the houses" for a bit). You are right to be concerned about putting her in a box, not least in case you miss something important because you are trying to put behaviours into the autism box.

    Anxiety could arise from other causes - loss of self confidence, or bullying. A break down in relations with one set of friends might make it hard to establish new ones.

    Dyspraxia sometimes manifests similarly to autism. It tends to be associated with poor short term memory and clumsiness, but does seem to have similar impact on making friends.

    Hopefully someone more aware of the issues with girls, there are several regulars on here with that perspective, will reply to you soon.